Transforming Trauma into Triumph with Danielle Young

In this powerful episode of Empowered Within with host Jenna "aka" Jennifer Pilates sits down with Danielle Young, a survivor of domestic abuse turned master-certified life coach and founder of Inspired Action Wellness. Danielle shares her deeply personal journey of overcoming trauma, from finding safety and healing through yoga to transforming pain into empowerment through self-inquiry and holistic practices.

Danielle reveals the pivotal moments that helped her reclaim her power and how she now helps other women transition from surviving to thriving. Discover actionable strategies for healing, including nervous system regulation, setting boundaries, and dispelling limiting beliefs. With compassionate insights and real-life tools, this episode offers hope, inspiration, and a path forward for anyone navigating life after trauma.

Join us as Danielle opens up about her journey, the challenges she faced, and how she empowers women worldwide to take their power back, heal holistically, and live a life of freedom and fulfillment.

👉 Learn more about Danielle and grab her free resources at InspiredActionWellness.com.

✨ Tune in now to be inspired, uplifted, and empowered to take your next step forward!

Claim Your First Grocery Delivery Order FREE - Click Here

Transcript

0:06

Welcome to Empowered Within, a soul quenching, transformational podcast that will set your soul on fire through candid and inspiring conversations. Leading experts, celebrities, healers, and I share our journeys of how we've overcome challenges to living an empowered life from within. I'm your host, Jennifer Pilates. Welcome to another episode of Empowered Within. Hi there and welcome to the show today. I am really excited to have our guest today, Danielle Young, who is coming to us from the warm Phoenix, Arizona. Hi, guys. I'm your host, Jennifer Pilates. I'll see you next time. I'm so excited to have you here. Let's talk about Danielle. She is a survivor of domestic abuse, master certified life coach, and a founder of inspired action wellness. She helps women heal from trauma, guiding them toward holistic recovery and renewed strength. Through her one on one coaching and her community. survivors to thrivers. Danielle provides compassionate support and actionable strategies to empower women to reclaim their lives and transform their pain into confidence. Driven by her own journey, she's committed to helping women move from victims to empowered survivors, making a lasting impact on trauma recovery. Welcome to the show, Danielle. thank you so much. It's really great to be here. Oh my gosh, so excited to have you here. We were just talking offline about our, love hate relationship with the state of Arizona. The only part that we don't like is the heat and the traffic, which has gotten so crazy the last, of years. Yeah. Yeah. Our population has like quadrupled. It's crazy how fast we've grown. Yeah, it's wild. So it's, there's no more, seasonal vacationers, right? It's just like year round now. Yeah. It's year round and we get the seasonal. So right now we have both and it's. It's like our traffic is so bad right now. It's so bad. Oh my gosh. Yes. I remember those days and that was before, the world changed four years ago. Yeah. When we still thought Scottsdale was a country bumpkin place. And now it's like, oh my, oh my gosh, Scottsdale, Phoenix, everything is just booming. It's huge. Everything is huge now. It's wild. Well, let's get to you and talk about your journey, which is quite impactful and incredible. And what led you to your transition from survivor to where you are today helping women to survive? So my journey starts about 26 years ago. I was in a relationship, that was very abusive. He was my first quote unquote love. I had never really dated or anything in high school, so I grew up without my dad. So I was really looking for that, you know, male like love in my life, which led me to, when he was older, you know, very Very dominating. And, eventually that led to, my daughter. And then when she was three weeks old, he, tried to end my life and, I packed up my three week old baby and out the door we went. I don't remember a lot about that night. I've kind of pieced together some things. Showed up at my mom's and We called the police. I, you know, filed a police report. The police really didn't care. I didn't really want to do anything. I filed charges. Justice system was like, nah, gave him 26 weeks of anger management classes and a 25 fine. So I, Went completely into a hole, uh, at that point. I was trying to figure out what my next move was. I was trying to be a mom. I was just in the survival mode, but I thought because I had left that I would start feeling better. Little did I know is not true. I just started digging myself deeper and deeper into a hole. And I remember feeling hopeless and worthless and, and just like, I don't know how I'm going to live my life. I don't know how I'm going to raise this baby. I, you know, I don't know where I'm going from here. And I looked at my daughter one night while she was sleeping and it just kind of clicked. And I thought, you know what? I can't be like this. If I'm going to be the mom she deserves. I have to put one foot in front of the other and I have to dig myself out and I have to be, I have to be better. So I started going into therapy that didn't really work for me. And I thought I'll figure this out on my own. That worked for a little while and I kind of, you know, maneuvered around in the world a little bit. But I was sort of just, I was just like floating. Like, I wasn't really, I wasn't really feeling anything. I was just sort of existing. And A coworker of mine introduced yoga. She's like, have you ever tried yoga? I'm like, no, I'm from a really small town in Northern Indiana. Like, I don't know yoga and she's, you should try it. So she hands me a VHS tape. I take it home, changed my life, started doing yoga. Really, really felt at home with yoga and then, you know, kind of just use that. As my major method of healing, then eventually, quite a few years later, I ended up doing a yoga teacher training, became a yoga teacher, and, I became a massage therapist actually before that to kind of help women. reassociate with their body. And then the yoga teacher training came, did that, worked on, you know, yoga for women as sort of like a body positivity movement. And I got a health coach, and she's like, have you ever tried self inquiry? Because you've got some major roadblocks here. And I'm like, no, what's that? So she introduced me to someone who I did a self inquiry session with. And my very first session was on my abuser and it was completely transformative, like changed, changed my view, changed my perception, changed everything. And I said, I want to do this. So I started doing it more. She offered a mentorship program. I did the mentorship program, started coaching. And then a friend of mine in that class said, Hey, I would pay you to be my life coach. You would make an amazing life coach. So I was like, all right, I could, I could do that. I could look into that. I thought about it. So I became a certified life coach and. I started doing some coaching. It wasn't really aligned with what I wanted to do. And I just thought this feels icky. I don't, this doesn't feel aligned. And I was sitting in meditation one day and it just downloaded. You have to tell your story. It just smacked me upside the head. Like you have to do this. So I rebranded and that birthed Inspired Action Wellness. And here we are. What an amazing journey. To unpack and so many layers. And I so appreciate that you went layer by layer. And I would love to, to go in a little bit deeper with each layer that you talked about starting with your yoga. What do you think it was that connected you with yoga that you felt a shift, that you felt a healing begin? I remember specifically I was in my living room and I was sitting on my yoga mat. And I remember putting my hand on my chest and closing my eyes. And it was the first time that I was able to actually close my eyes and feel okay. I just felt this sense of peace, a sense of safety. And that was the first time that I had felt safe and peace since I left, since I left him, you know, and I felt, wow, this is, I want more of this. Like, this is what I need. And I could just feel my body come back into itself. My nervous system was not in fight or flight anymore. It was in that those. moments when I could just be. And I started trying to move that into the outside world, but it was really at home on my mat where I was doing the practice that I was like, okay, this is home. This is home. So at night when I would come home, I put my daughter to bed and I would just go to my mat and I would just sit and breathe. That was really the major part of being able to regulate my nervous system. A powerful place to be to find safety within yourself on your mat. And even to this day, I'll start to get anxiety and I'll feel a panic attack coming on and I dig out my mat and I lay down and I just breathe because that is my, that's home base. That's, that is my safe place. And that's what I tell everybody, you know, who's been through trauma and abuse, find a safe spot. It could be a blanket on the floor. Like for me, it's my yoga mat. Find that place where you feel the most safe and go there and just be. That's excellent advice. I love that. And now tell me about the sessions that you were introduced to, how you feel that they took you to places where you could release the blockages and what you were experiencing. The thing about self inquiry is. You take a negative thought and for me, it was always, why did this happen to me? What is wrong with me? You know, I was always putting it back on me. And when that first self inquiry session, I went into it and I hated him. I hate, and I, I call him stupid. I hated stupid. And I went into that session and we went through these questions. And we ended up at a point after like, how does this, how does this negative thought affect you? How is it affecting you in your daily life? And we went into a childhood moment and I'm like, Oh, there it is. And I could see that it went way far back, far as far back as to when I was, I think I was about five, five or six. And I thought, Oh, okay. I've carried this thought with me. The whole way through my adulthood. And then after we got through with the childhood moment, we turned everything around and I was able to see that it was him that was damaged, not me. It wasn't my fault what he did to me. It was him. And I didn't have to own that anymore because I was owning his behavior. I was owning. What he was doing and what he was thinking and you know his life that led him down that path I was owning all of that and this one session made me realize no, that's not mine to own I had no control over him and it really made me realize okay. This is the moment I now take my power back no more no more giving it up to him It's mine and I get to carry it with me I get to keep it. That is just so incredible and impactful and empowering in one session. So take me a little bit deeper and let our audience know and describe to me what happens in one of these sessions. When you personally went through it and then is it the same when you're taking clients through it? How does that look? How does that feel? Yeah. When I, I love, I absolutely love self inquiry because a client will come in with, with an issue and they'll just, you'll see them, they'll look heavy and downtrodden and just like the whole world is on their shoulders. And we'll start the session and it's very emotional. We walk through emotions, feelings, how does this make you feel? How is this showing up in your life? And then, like I said, we go to the childhood moment and we go back, like, how did you recognize this? Like, where was a moment in your childhood where you felt this and go back as far as you possibly can? And that usually is a lightbulb moment. And then we go through, now, what do you want? your life to look like. What do you want to feel whenever this comes up? If you didn't have this thought, what would your life look like? And we go through those and then we turn it around at the end and we make it about us. That is usually where we go, Oh, okay. Yeah, and you can just see the weight lift. You can see the happiness and the joy come on someone's face. I mean, it's like, wow, I can't even believe that I never thought about this. I never thought that I was carrying this with me. I never, I don't know why I feel like this, but wow, that's really interesting, you know, and they just get very curious. And that for me is is it makes the whole session, you know, just to see that joy. Like, yeah, you don't have to carry this anymore. It's such an incredible and empowering moment. And I love that it's called self inquiry. Self inquiry into discovering self. I just, it's, it's so amazing. And it doesn't, it sounds so different than NLP. It's not tapping. It's all that. It's just diving into you. Yeah. And, you know, I like to look at it as like a spider web, you have like a central and that's the that's the childhood moment, right? That's, that's the moment that is defined by the age of six that we carry with us that drives our perceptions, our beliefs. You know, whatever, until we discover it later, that's the center of the web, and then it goes out and it affects everything, our relationships, friendships, finances, you know, ourselves, everything, it affects, so it's just like this web that goes out, and once you are at like one end of the web, and you can crawl back into the center and see, oh wow, it's affecting this, and this, and this, and this, Then it's just like, wow, okay, now I know how to deal with this. Very concrete, because a lot of people, having had experienced trauma, they need something concrete. Because nothing has been concrete up to that point. So when we think about that, what are some of the common misconceptions that you personally believe from people healing with trauma? A lot of it has to do with sense of self. It was my fault. I provoked this. I made him do this. I made her do this. I, you know, a lot of it is more brought back to, I can't heal because I'm broken. I'll never be able to get over this. I'll never find a way forward. You know, there's a lot of that coming in and, it's such a myth because that's the trauma talking. That's the fear talking. That's the anxiety talking. That's your abuser talking, that's the manipulation, that's the gaslighting, that's the learned helplessness that has been ingrained in you that is talking. That's not you. And I like to get at the heart of you. Who are you and what are your beliefs? The other major misconceptions are, there's a lot of shame that goes in with this and people who have been through abuse and trauma think that no one will believe them and no one will support them. So it's very hard for us to trust. It's very hard for us to ask for help. We become hypervigilant, like I'll do it myself. We become very independent because we have learned that we can't trust. we're control freaks. We have to have control. So a myth. you know, coming out of abuse is now I have to control everything. And you're doing more damage than good because people will support you. There are people who will believe you and the people who don't believe you and people who don't support you are not your people. Valid point. Yeah. So it's getting to that point. And then, you know, why didn't I just leave? Why did I let this happen? And it's like, well, you didn't let it happen because no one. Let's abuse happen. No one wants it to happen. It happened because you were being manipulated, you were being controlled, you were being gaslighted by someone who didn't have your best interest at heart and who was broken themselves. So It's really getting people to understand that there's more to this than just self blame. Self blame's not the way. So true, and so heavy. What do you say to the woman who's listening, who is in some sort of abusive relationship, been there for years, because a lot of people have been there for years, maybe on some level of a grain of piece of salt, has a little glimmer of, well, maybe I could leave. What do you say to that person? Because you've been there, you know, all of the other thoughts that is this mound of Salts on the left side versus this one little little speck over on the right. What do you say to that woman? I say go go it will not get any better. It will not change Make a plan there is support. There are resources Tell someone because a lot of us we don't tell people No one knows what we're going through. We keep it silent. Tell a friend. Tell someone you trust. And do it. You know, there is life on the other side. If I could say one thing, that would be that there is life on the other side of trauma. There is life on the other side of abuse. I don't care what they've told you. They want to keep you controlled. They want you to think that you can't do it. They want you to think that you can't make it on your own. You absolutely can. I'm living proof. I did it with no money, no job. I had a three week old baby. And I did it while my abuser was still stalking me, harassing me. You have got to take your power back. And once you tell this person who's abusing you, you have no more power over me. That in itself is empowering you to move forward. Incredibly so, and I feel that if you could address, I'm going to say some thoughts that I feel some people would be having of, well I'm older and I've been here forever, where would I go? I have no money. Mm hmm. That person is they're having all those thoughts. I'm in my 60s. I'm in my 70s. I guess this just is what it is, you know, because I do across the spectrum feel that for women, it a lot comes down to what you said. And it also comes down to, well, the money, the finances, and then the, well, when, where would I go? That comes down to trust in yourself. Because I thought the same thing, I have nowhere to go, you know, I mean, yeah, I had my mom's to go to, but I knew I couldn't live there forever. I knew that I had to, you know, get a job and get out on my own. And I feel like once I made that decision, everything worked out, you know, because I knew that I wasn't going to go back. So for those thoughts, I would say. Number one, it's never too late to be happy. Number two, you have to decide. What's better, to be stuck in a relationship that you are not valued or to be out in the world where you are at least free? That's a decision you have to make. Granted, it's not an easy decision. But like I said, there are resources. You know, there, there's a domestic violence hotline. If you call them, they will help you. if you need to couch surf for a while, friends, do it because you will be out from under someone's control. And once you take back that trust in yourself, everything else will work out. You just have to believe it will believe have faith. That's what I would say. I agree with you. It's really Leaning into faith and leaning in to take the leap. The wings will appear. Yeah, absolutely You know, God isn't going to let you fall the universe isn't gonna let you fall. No, the universe has your back Exactly. The universe always has your back, but you also have to That takes action of some sort, whatever that is. What advice do you give to women who are struggling with whom they are after, right? Talk to us about the after part. How do you help women to understand that there is life after the trauma that you've been through? A big part of it is dispelling those limiting beliefs. You know, getting to the heart of what your perceptions are, and it's like getting from point A to point B, like, what are your perceptions, your beliefs now, and then where do you want to be? Where do you see yourself? And let's get there. You know, what support can I help you to get to that point, whether it's nervous system regulation, whether it's, doing affirmations, whether it's, journaling is a huge part for me. I love journaling, getting everything out. Writing things about yourself. What are three things? Start off small. What are three things that you love about yourself? What are three things that inspire you? What are three things that you're grateful for? Start small and then build up from there. So, let's, let's take that one step further. And so, you've talked about, what happens just after. Obviously, as you said in your experience, and I would say 99. 9 percent of all experiences when you're, exiting a trauma situation, how do you help people to understand that when they are in fight or flight? And then how do you help move them out of that? So that goes back to nervous system regulation. I do a lot of like somatic, somatic coaching, where, we work with the vagus nerve and we work on different techniques, breathing techniques, to bring the body back into kind of a, homeostasis. And then once we get to that point, then it's much easier to recognize and to see the other things, the thoughts, the feelings, all of that stuff. But if we're stuck in that fight or flight, it's really hard. It's kind of a forestry situation. So we start off with nervous system regulation. Then we move into limiting beliefs, perceptions, how to integrate, the good stuff in and get rid of the bad stuff and then we go into putting that into our daily lives, setting boundaries, what does that look like with family, friends, kids, how to implement it in real life and what I'm finding is that once We get to that point of, yeah, it's okay for me to set boundaries because there's no, the only repercussion is the one that I set for myself, you know? And so once we get rid of that belief, then I find that people, it's easier time to start implementing things. Into real life and by real life, I mean, you know, like work, asking for a raise valuing your worth, being very clear with family. This is my boundary being very clear with friends saying no, you know, things like that, that it's really hard for us to do when we've been told we can't, for the person now who started with us and is now to this point, and I feel has gotten to that place of maybe I can do this. Maybe I can change my life, change my job, leave my partner, move, whatever it may be to help them move from a trauma filled situation out of that. What one piece of advice. One first step, would you give that person? If you're ready to commit to healing, you have to commit because it is a process. It's not going to be easy, but if you're ready, the first thing I would say is to start small. Start making little small changes in your daily life. You know, start with a morning routine. I'm big on morning routines. Find something that you can do consistently on a daily basis that makes you feel better about yourself. Self care. Really, it's the starting small that I want to emphasize here. Because if you start going too big, you're going to get overwhelmed again. And then you're just not going to do it. So. Commit to a daily habit, commit to a self care routine, commit to setting at least one boundary, and reach out for help and support. You are really serious, then reach out to someone who can help you get from point A to point B. Excellent advice. Tell me from where you were to where you're living today. If you were to look back, is there one moment or a pivotal action or something that transpired that you went, I've made it to the other side. When you knew you got to the other side, whether that, the other side of the healing, whether you, do you know what I mean? Like that, you got there. Yeah. Do you, do you remember a special moment or something that transpired? Yeah, it was that moment after my first self inquiry session when I did not let stupid have power over me anymore. When I knew that I needed to own my own stuff. I was so tired of living in fear. I was so tired of hating him. I was tired of giving that energy. I was just, I was just tired. And. After that session, I said, you know what? No more enough. Enough is enough. I've had enough. And I said, from this moment on, I don't care about him anymore. he's not in my reality anymore. I don't even know where he is, honestly. And I thought this is so stupid. I'm sitting here giving someone this power over me when I have one life to live and I'm not doing anything that I want to do to live it. All right, it's my turn. It's my turn. I'm going to live after that moment. What's the first thing that you did after that moment. I remember telling my husband, I want to open a wellness center. I've had the idea for a wellness center for a really long time, but it always seemed like such a dream. And I said, you know what? Nope, I could do this. I want to open a wellness center and I want to have all of these things and I designed the building. And I mean, I have this dream and I said, I will do whatever I need to do to get, to make that dream happen, to get there. Right. What an incredible vision. And you are so well on your way. You basically have the virtual aspect of it now. Yeah. Which is huge, right? Like we want to congratulate and have you look at it that way. You've, You've started already, you rooted, you planted the seeds, and now it's growing. Maybe you have a larger impact virtually than you actually would brick or mortar. Yeah, maybe. I feel like that's where we're heading now, is more virtual, more online. It's more, it's more, you know, it's more present online. You can access it from anywhere, whereas with brick or mortar, you're limited. Right. So, yeah. Limited to space, to time. Yeah. And there's a control aspect to that as well. True. Who owns those four walls if it's not me? Right. And then do you really want to own those four walls? Right. You know, I like, I like the idea of freedom. I like being free. Mm hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Oh my gosh, Danielle, you've been through so much and come back again and just everything that you've shared is so powerful. And I thank you for that and for your journey and to know that here you are and you have you in my eyes, in my vibration, you have created your wellness journey. You are happily married. You have children. Debating on Phoenix, but we're really talking about something else now. We want to give her seasons. She's like me. She got a little burnt out. She needs some seasons. I can't handle 120 degrees anymore. I just can't. I'm with you, girl. It's good to pop in. It's good to pop out. Yeah. Great place to visit. Amazing place to visit. Amazing place to visit. Love Sedona. Oh, it's Sedona is just my heart space. Sedona has my heart. Yep. Yeah. Always and forever, for sure. Oh my gosh, love it. When you look back over your life, if there was one day that you could go back and relive, nothing changes, but you could just go back and relive it, what day would that be and why? Oh, Gosh. I would say, wow, that's a, that's a tough question. I mean, there's so many moments in my life that I would Want to relive, I think it would be the day that I graduated from yoga teacher training, honestly. And I know that might sound really weird, but it was that day that I felt like I had truly accepted Myself for where I was in my journey, I felt more empowered on that day than any other day, I think, because I knew that, that was such a huge part of my healing. And I was so proud that I could. now share it with the world. You know, I could take it and I could move with it in the world and I could use it for good. And, you know, and I mean, I've done other things in my life, like I've graduated. I went to college, but that in that moment was the most empowered I've ever felt. I could just really. I felt like that day I could move mountains. I really did. Thank you. It was just so powerful. It sounds incredibly powerful and it obviously it was, it was very powerful and what a day to pick and what a moment. To align with everything that you've been through, everything as to whom you are embodying today and expanding into tomorrow. Amazing. Danielle, you are just fabulous. I love your energies. I love our, our combined need for cooler temperatures. Yes. Yep. Will you share with our listeners, where can they best connect with you? My website would be a great place to start. That's got all of my info on my social media channels at the bottom. You can book a call with me. I've got a couple of freebies there's a free meditation. There's a free, guide on, steps to take after healing., and then I am on all the social media channels. it's inspired action wellness. On everything and inspiredductionwellness. com is my website. Fabulous. And as always, all of Danielle's contact information will be over in the show notes at jenniferplottis. com. So you can head over there, click the link and grab a couple of freebies and maybe even set up a call with her. As we close out the show today, Danielle, what is an inspirational thought that you would like to leave with us today? No matter how rough the road may seem, just keep moving forward. Love it. Thank you for that. I know that that will resonate so much with all of our listeners today. And I want to thank you, Danielle, so much for being the ray of light that you are. Sharing your journey and your insights and continuing to show up as the empowered thriver that you are today and sharing that and inspiring so many other women around the world. Thank you for that. Wow. Thank you so much. I appreciate that. Absolutely. Well, everyone, again, all of Danielle's information will be over in the show notes at jenniferplottis. com. So again, head over, click the links and be sure to connect with her. And as we say until next time, may you live an empowered life from within. Thank you so much for tuning in to another episode. Please remember to rate, review, and subscribe to Empowered Within with Jennifer Pilates. Your feedback is important. It helps me to connect with you and gives me insight into who you are and what you're enjoying about the show. For today's show notes and discount codes from today's sponsors, head over to jenniferpilates. com. Until next time, may you live an empowered life from within.