Empowered Within with Jennifer Pilates

Sailing Through Life's Challenges with Lorie Tesny

March 22, 2023 Jennifer Pilates Season 10 Episode 105
Empowered Within with Jennifer Pilates
Sailing Through Life's Challenges with Lorie Tesny
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Show Notes Transcript

As a 2-time melanoma cancer warrior, Lori Tesny's focus is to be an inspiration to others to stay positive while going through cancer and other life-altering events. Although Lori's  life has been forever changed with her experiences, she has  found her purpose because of it.

"I have shown strength and resilience through my cancer journey. I have overcome so many obstacles and now live my life differently before. I did the most adventurous thing...I quit my job and sold everything to live my dream! Sailing through life..."
- Lori Tesny

Show Notes: https://jenniferpilates.com/the-podcast

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Welcome to Empowered Within a Soul Quenching transformational podcast that will set your soul on fire through candid and inspiring conversations. Leading experts, celebrities, healers, and I share our journeys of how we've overcome challenges to living an empowered life from within. I'm your host, Jennifer Pilates. Welcome to another episode of Empowered Within. Hi there and welcome to the show. Today's guest is my good friend, Lori Tesney Adversity has led Lori to live with more purpose and focus on what truly matters mindset has been a key player in her journey, and how she's been able to stay positive through all of life's challenges. Lori is a certified mindfulness teacher, a sailor two-time cancer warrior, and the podcast host of the show Sailing Through Life. Welcome to the show, Lori. Thank you Jennifer. Thank you so much for having me, and I've been so looking forward to this conversation with you. I'm so honored to have you here. I was super honored to be a guest on your podcast and we've just aligned and it's beautiful. So let's start with, tell me about where your adventure began to where you are now. Absolutely. Well, that's a really crazy and complicated journey. I've been through a number of adversities, but I've learned how to continue to stay hopeful and determined. That's a a a plus and a minus sometimes, but. I've learned that there's no really no guarantees in life and that the storms will come up suddenly, and you have to make the best out of whatever the situation is. So my story starts in 2017. For all intents and purposes, I was. Going through life, I was working in the funeral home industry. I had a lot of trauma and drama previously and, I had come through a lot of really horrific things, but 2017 happened August, end of summer, having a great time, and I found a spot on my leg. I had bumped, there was a mole, it wouldn't heal right. And I didn't know what to do about it. I talked to my mom, she suggested I go see the doctor, which, seems obvious, but who wants to do that? Got to the doctor's office and, was bad. I had a bad feeling as soon as I walked into that office and found out that after the biopsy it was malignant melanoma, which is the deadly form of skin cancer. So, you know, working in a funeral home, I saw a lot. I saw a lot. I probably saw too much and used that to as a point of reference for potentially what was going to happen to me. So there was a mind game that initiated. As soon as I got that news, I got forced into a whole new realm and had to figure a lot out. So it was a year of. Craziness with dealing with, diagnosis, dealing with treatment, dealing with surgeries, and trying to get back to a life that I used to have. I didn't wanna deal with what I was dealing with Now I wanted to go back to where I was, even though it was bad, it was still not as bad as what I was dealing with. Now and unfortunately I finished all my treatments, got through everything, and weeks later, as soon as I finished treatment and got the all clearer, I was back to square one with another lump and another biopsy, and another year ahead of surgeries and treatments. And so that really did a number on me and really forced me to look at things differently. And then I finished that year out of going through a lot of changes in my life to walk right into a pandemic breaking out. So I had a, the three strikes, I'm out kind of, uh, situation happen and, and that's when the wheels really started turning in my head. What did I need to do? How do I need to change my life? Because where I was was not. That is just so incredible. So if I understand this correctly, you had not won but two cancer Diagnosises in under two years. Is that right? That's correct. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. So tell me, you've got to have an incredible, strong mindset to get through that and then to walk into a pandemic. What kept you going? What mindset, practices or tools did you employ to keep yourself above the water? I think originally it was relying on the resilience I had built up from things that had happened to me in the past. Going through a life transition like that, was key for me to orchestrate what I wanted to see in the future, and I knew I had the power just because of what I had been through previously to a, to focus on something and within a three month period of deciding I wanted to change my life and actually doing it. Houses were sold, cars were sold, jobs were quit. everything was purged. And I made a huge transition in my life physically to separate myself from what I was dealing with. And it's not that you have to do that, it's what I needed because of all the bad that had happened to me in that place. It was time to move and start fresh. And so I felt like it was important for me to. Start pursuing the dream life that I wanted. And I'm not saying it is carefree and worry-free and stress-free, but it is a different life and that's where I've chosen to focus. So, That mindset came into play, more so, and that focus on mindfulness came into play last year when I had an unscheduled surprise surgery after a scan that didn't show great results. And, that threw me into a kind of a deep depression. I was really mad at myself for not being on top of things, not listening to my body because I was busy. I was. struggling with how I felt struggling with confidence and things like that. And when I sat back and looked at what I had been through and I started seeing how hard I was being on myself, I wanted to make a change yet again. And, you know, I've learned. I've not felt safe in a long time because of what had happened me prior to having cancer. And then after that there was nothing stable. And I, you know, I, I wanted that, I wanted that back. So it's kind of ironic when you think about the fact that I wasn't comfortable in my own skin and I ended up with skin cancer. I talked to a friend about that and it was so, crazy to think about how my life had been threatened so many times and what had come into that world and what I needed to do to get back out of it. So I decided to not only work on myself, but then learn how to help other people. So I got certified as a mindfulness teacher and I started putting all these things into place in my own life to adjust that and it's. Something you have to remember is once you decide something, it doesn't mean you don't have to make another decision. And that's been hard for people to understand is, you know, it's not a one and done. You have to always work on things for yourself and learn more and understand yourself better. And that's what I've been working on. Right? And I think it's having grace with yourself, right? Just because you make a decision to turn. doesn't mean that coming down the street, you might have this gut instinct to go, you know what, I think I need to backtrack for a minute. Right? And, and it's okay. It's okay to change your mind. You are human. It's okay to do that. Well, and, and using that practice, like I said in my own life, learning the importance of breathing, learning the importance of doing yoga and setting. That goal daily to do that, whether I want to or not, doesn't really factor in. I do it because once I'm done, I know I've done something good for myself. My health is first and foremost, Jennifer, and I to have to do everything to the best of my ability. to keep myself safe. Whether it's my mind, it's my body. It, there's so many aspects to health and I try to address all of those in my own life. And the podcast, you know, meeting people that are genuine and really caring and people like you, I mean, talking to you is so natural and it's so. energizing in the right way. And I know surrounding myself with those same people that guide me and help me to see my value is something I continue to do. And it's refining, a lot of refining as I go on, because I might have an idea about something and go in one direction and like you said, you get redirected. Maybe something says, no, let's try this over. Right, exactly. And so I've gotta chuckle at something for the woman who wants to feel secure in her body, feel secure, body, mind, and spirit. You are living on a sailboat. Yeah. Let's talk about that. Let's talk about the subconscious work going on here. Let's talk about that. Both of us have been through the same two hurricanes. yeah. Yeah. On opposite coats of Florida. But you girlfriend earn a sailboat, so tell me Yes. How did we throw caution to the wind? Literally and figuratively speaking and end up living on a sailboat while you've got all this going on? Cuz that's a. It is. It is. I, it was a way to. it was, you know, the first and foremost was how do we simplify life so I could have the opportunity to scale back and do what was important for me? And, you know, there's, there is, a duality to living on a sailboat because you feel like that mo, you know, movement and connection. But at the same time, you never really have a steady foundation and it's learning to work with that ever moving situation that you adjust. And so, you know, one of my favorite quotes is, you can't, I. adjust the wind. You have to adjust your sails. You have to sometimes take what's given to you and learn how to work with it. And I love being on the water. I love being in this environment. Mind you, I have to be very, very cautious because of my diagnosis. I cannot be exposed to a ton of sunlight, and so I'm very, very, Conservative with my sun exposure and things that I do, but this community is amazing. Being in this atmosphere is amazing. And learning a whole new lifestyle, pairing everything down to whatever fits in this space, I learned how to be very purposeful with everything. So there was a minimizing that happened, which took a lot off my. I can see that. So talk to me about the correlation between sailing and your life's path. Oh, well, yeah. This whole show, the podcast all started because I, I love sailing and I started to understand the metaphoric aspect of it as you go through life, the podcast. The theme is sharing stories of hope through the storms of life. There's a lot of things that you can get into, you know, it's about. going through life and not going around it. Finding success in your journey and not in your destination. So overcoming adversity is a big part of the show as well as like wellness and mindset and how to keep dreaming even when life knocks you down. So that all kind of culminates the feeling. Sailing through life, you have control over certain aspects of your life and that's the easy part. But then there's the other parts that you have to work at. And I think, you know, there's that analogy of taking care of you first before you help somebody else. And to me is when you need to fill your own sales. Before you can move swiftly through life and then to be there for everybody else. So you have to point yourself in the right direction. And when you do that and you adjust those sales, You have that motion, you have that momentum to move forward. And it doesn't mean that I'm not gonna get hit with bad weather. It doesn't mean that the water's always gonna be calm, but I will have skills to know how to get through those times. And that is a practice that happens daily. Every time you do something in life, you learn something, you learn what worked, you learn what didn't, and then you put those things into your everyday practice. That is beautiful. So what, if you could give like three examples, what are three examples that you use now after learning everything that you have through what you've been through and living on the sailboat, what are three things that are now even currently helping you to navigate the storms that pop up in life? Cuz they can be big or small, right? Like it doesn't have to be like the, it doesn't have to be an avalanche or a hurricane. But there's always something. Right? And especially if you're living in Florida, there's always something Yes, yes. So what are your suggestions to help people with the little storms that can erupt here and there in their lives? I think when you are dealing with a stressful or anxiety situation, you have to understand and honor the change that is happening. You cannot get so caught up in control. everything outside of you. You have to know how to control what you do, how you think. You know, when you think about when you're triggered by something, you know, whether it's a person or event. You, you're, you feel a certain reaction to that and you wanna blame what's outside of you, but you have to remember to control. what's inside of you, and it's a process of retraining your brain. And it's quite a process and I am, I have not perfected it yet, but it is something I work on consistently. But when you start feeling the results of getting in that right mindset, you know, you start feeling lighter. You are, you know, a little more in control. You can feel that power of. centered in yourself and knowing that you are doing the best you can for you. I think it just, it's so much easier to function in life and to prioritize what's important to you, and so it's always been something that I've, you know, strived for and realized I have that inside of me. I just have to pay attention to those cue. right. It always goes back to listening and connecting the body, mind and spirit and being in that alignment and then being willing to lean into it and flow with it, even though you may not understand what you're being called to do in that moment. Right. And then in addition, like I said, doing the yoga has helped and also finding a holistic nutritionist who. Figured out what things are working for me and what are not, and to feel better, especially like I said, after that crazy unscheduled surgery that I had, it really took its toll on me and I had to get back on track because I just felt so miserable. And once I started understanding my body and how it works and what I thrive on, I know now to continue to keep doing. That is beautiful. So you've been through a lot in a fairly short period of time, shall we say. In this world, going through this journey and this beautiful adventure that you're on, what has been your biggest aha moment thus far? Because we know you're gonna have plenty more, yo. Yes. Yes. I would say that, the feeling I get when I am in tune with something. The feeling I get when I know that my experience is. Reaching someone else so that they know they're not alone in this journey. And that is the biggest part of what I do, is reaching out to other people and giving them tools, explaining what I've been through and how I've gotten through it. It's a lot. It's a lot. And you know, a lot of the audience. Cancer survivors who are trying to understand what to do once the medical side of things is no longer a part of their lives and getting back on track. And I know how important advocacy for sun protection and all that is a part of what I do as well because of my diagnosis. And so there's a lot of drive to keep moving forward to keep. Educating people and learning myself, you know, doing meditations. I started adding meditations to the podcast as well to help people with anxiety. There's a lot of anxiety that comes along with a cancer diagnosis and even after, you know, follow up scans and things like that, where you're just always waiting for the other shoe to drop. And so it really does help, is a cumulative thing, all inclusive to help somebody get through those challenge. Those are great tips. Those are really great tips to help people along the way and to help prepare them for the after as well. Because it's a continued process and you're re, it's almost like you're being reintroduced to your body, being reintroduced to life again, and learning how to navigate and live differently. Right, right. Yeah. You know, it, sailing is an analogy. for the events in life, you know, because it reflects both the challenges and the beauty. So it's where that balance comes into play. You know, if something happens one way, then you, uh, you know, compensate with another, way to deal with it. And so again, it's just getting things under your belt and creating a regular practice. I think that's excellent, excellent advice. I love that and I so am honored for you to share everything that you've shared and be vulnerable with our audience and our community to help inspire others and let them know that wherever you are in your process of life, that you're not alone. Absolutely. Well, Lori, we are getting to this time in the show where I ask this one question, are you. I am. What is one thing that no one knows about Lori? Hmm. Good question, Jennifer. Hmm. I would say that something that I deal with frequently is it's more of an internal struggle. I, I am a very structured person, but I also wanna be a free. And so my brain pretty much is split right down the middle, you know, left brain, right brain stuff. And so I can go from creating like a spreadsheet in Excel with all sorts of formulas and then turn around and work on a piece of abstract art. So it's a fight for me a lot of times to stay focused on one task because I could be doing one thing and have a thought and. totally shift to something else. So there's an internal tug of war. I think I deal with a lot where I wanna be creative and I have that ability to be, but I also wanna be structured and I think that's the discipline that I put on myself to stay on target for, mm-hmm. things that I have planned. Cuz otherwise I could go off into a corner and just kind of evaporate into a mindless. Event, which is not a bad thing. It's just sometimes that life depends on you to do certain things. So it's keeping that structure, I think in check and also exploring the creative side. Right. Giving yourself permission. Yes. And being okay with it, leaning into it. I love it. Yes. Ah, that's awesome. Lori, will you share with our listeners where they can get in contact with you? Absolutely. Podcast website is sailing through life podcast.com and all the episodes all about me, all the links to social media, all that is on there. You can just pop in there. And I have a way for you if you wanna learn more and get special information about anything that's going on, you can sign up for that there as well. All right. And you also have a special event coming up soon, is that right? I do. I do. So may. skin cancer awareness. And so last year I did this for the first time, I did a special series and I pointed. out different people in different aspects. I had skincare, sunscreen, I had protective clothing. I had survivor. I had my sister as the sibling to a survivor and I had a sun care coach. And so I kind of divvied up all these different aspects of. Being aware of skin cancer and melanoma. And so this year I have expanded that and I'm looking forward to some really incredible guests. So thank you, Jennifer, for bringing that up. It is truly a passion of mine to bring awareness to this because it is an. Underappreciated or under misunderstood cancer diagnosis that people don't understand the severity of it. And that's part of what this series is for. Well, that sounds wonderful. And is that information also on the podcast website? Absolutely. Yep. There's a tab for melanoma and skin cancer awareness. All the past episodes, people I've talked to in the past, products that I've, posted on there. And then we'll be starting a whole new season, a new series this year coming up in, actually in April, because I've had such a great response. So that's wonderful. Congratulations for that. And as always, all of Lori's contact information will be over on the show notes and jennifer plo.com, so we'll have links to the site and links to her upcoming events. Lori, as we close out the show today, what is one last piece of inspiration that you'd like to leave with us? To go confidently in your life and know that you have what it takes, and to surround yourself with the people who make you feel good about yourself, who help you feel inspired to continue to learn and grow and get through this life. There are no guarantees and we have to figure things out along the way. And remember that the journey is the important part, not the destination. Amen. I couldn't agree with you more. Thank you for that. And thank you for sharing your journey and your incredible energies and insights with us today. Thank you, Jennifer. This is my so much to be. Thank you. You are so welcome. Well, as we say everyone, until next time, may you live an empowered life from. Thank you so much for tuning into another episode. Please remember to rate, review, and subscribe to Empowered Within with Jennifer Pilates. Your feedback is important. It helps me to connect with you and gives me insight into who you are and what you're enjoying about the show. For today's show, notes and discount codes from today's. Head over to jennifer pilates.com. Until next time, may you live an empowered life from within.