Transforming Mindset and Finding Hope with Jesse Bradley

My parents divorced when I was 7, and I became even more focused on academics and athletics during my teenage years. After graduating from Dartmouth College with a degree in Psychology, I was living out my childhood dream as a soccer goalkeeper. In Africa, I took a prescribed medication to prevent malaria, and it built up toxic levels in my system. I was fighting for my life for a year, and it took ten years to recover. During this time, my life was transformed in the deepest ways: identity, faith, mindset, habits, career, and relationships. The greatest blessings and growth in life can emerge from the worst situations. This is the grace of God, and the hope I want to spread. The pain in my journey has fueled a purpose in my heart to see more people experience an abundant life. After denying God's existence throughout my childhood, I never anticipated deciding to follow Jesus.

Jesse is an author, speaker, adoption advocate and currently serves as a pastor in Seattle reaching millions of people worldwide with his messages of hope.

Show Notes:  https://empoweredwithinworld.com/the-podcast

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Transcript

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This summer, I have curated a very special lineup of shows that include a never before heard excerpts from interviews, brand new episodes, as well as the top rated episodes by you. Our empowered within community. If you'd like to be in the know of all of our events, giveaways, and new episodes, head over to Jennifer pilates.com and hit subscribe. Thank you so much for being a part of our empowered within community and enjoy today's episode. Welcome to empowered within a soul clinching transformational podcast that will set your soul on fire through candid and inspiring conversations. Leading experts, celebrities, healers, and I share our journeys of how we've overcome challenges to living an empowered life from within I'm your host, Jennifer Pilates. Welcome to another episode of empowered within. Hello everyone. And welcome to another great show. I am so honored to have the ever inspiring Jesse Bradley here with us today. Jesse is a former professional soccer goalkeeper who graduated from Dartmouth college while playing in Zimbabwe to prevent malaria. He took a prescribed medication. The medication built up to toxic levels in his system, which left him fighting for his life for one full year. With a full recovery taking 10 years, Jesse is an author speaker adoption advocate, and currently serves as a pastor in Seattle, reaching millions of people worldwide with his message of hope. Welcome to the show, Jesse. I'm so happy. You're here with us today. Thank you, Jennifer. I've been looking forward to this and you have such a passion for people to experience healing and restoration empowerment within, and that's close to my heart. And so I know your listeners just trust you so much, and I love what you're doing. It's just, it's straight from your heart. And it's making a difference in many people's lives. Oh, thank you, Jessie. That means so much coming from you and you and I, we crossed paths in clubhouse, which was such a blessing and I heard bits and pieces of your story and it was so inspiring. Then you reached out to me on Instagram and I was like, So happy that you did cause we do, we share so many of the same passions. It's just wonderful. So I'm so grateful that you're here and I'm grateful that you're willing to share your journey of transformation, which is an incredible story. And I can't wait for our listeners to hear. Thank you. Yes. I believe that some of the best experiences in life come out of the most difficult and challenging circumstances, and that's been true in my story. And also clubhouse was something that I found during COVID and it's a unique platform with social media and the chance to have conversations and get to know people I've enjoyed it thoroughly. And I'm grateful that out of that, Connection relationship. We get to have this conversation and love to go deep, be honest, be authentic about what life really looks like. Absolutely. And I know that's what our listeners appreciate most, with us here and being here. So tell me Dessie how and where did your story begin? Because it is an amazing one. Yeah. I grew up in Minnesota, freezing cold Tundra, you know, Minnesota campus, dinky town, and the first apartment where my parents live is it the parking lot of the football stadium. And so everything was golden gophers sports. I knew I wanted to be a professional athlete when I was three years old. I told my parents that and sports where my passion as well as academics and when my parents got divorced at age seven, it was like the two pillars of my life are no longer together. And I still remember that day, watching them really. We had my birthday together. And then right after that, they decided it was over and it was so hard. I, you could feel the tension for awhile. I mean, there was a lot of fighting. It was difficult in our home. And when dad left and then he moved out of state, it felt like our family was never going to be the same. And even though I couldn't put words on it is a seven-year-old. Internally, I think I was mourning. I was grieving. I was looking where could I fill this void? And really, I poured myself into academics and sports and I, that was the pattern throughout high school. And I enjoyed both so much and friends as well. And I have good relationships with my parents now, but that was quite a jolt. And it's something that if you know, anyone listening has gone through that in your parents have been divorced, you just know that that affects you. It's so many different points of life and so deeply, but there can also be a lot of healing too. Absolutely. And, and I know like you, my parents were divorced and I was five, six years old. So I totally resonate with that. You don't realize as a child at the time, but later in life, there are things that you have to go back and really work on yourself and heal and even heal the relationship between yourself and your parents. Absolutely. You know, I saw counselors, uh, as I was growing up as a child and, you know, I tried to heed their advice and, you know, I tried at one point, I told my dad how angry I was at him and it just didn't really make the difference. But you know, part of my journey spiritually is that I started a relationship with God in college. I, I didn't believe God existed growing up. And when I knew that God loved me and forgave me, it changed my heart and I forgave my. Dad fully. And it was just a new love and compassion and our relationship. It started building at that point. And, uh, it takes a long time to heal, but you can choose to forgive someone right away. If you feel like someone's let you down or they didn't follow through, you know, you might be on the receiving end and the pain can be there. And the healing's a long process, but you can choose right away. I'm going to forgive this person, which means I'm going to let go of bitterness, resentment, revenge. And when you do that, you're actually freed up. It doesn't mean what they did was right. But you've come alive. Then, then there's potential to reenter a relationship. If it's safe, you know, to reenter in gain some of that closeness again. And that was the process. And when I got married later on in life, you know, my dad was there and that was just something right before my wedding. My best man came to me and said, is there anything else you want. Because it's about to start, the ceremony is about to start. And I said, just one more hug from dad. And we got that hug together. That's what I wanted. Dad was there. You know, I just wanted that hug from dad. And that, that was kind of, you know, a culmination of a lot of years of healing and going to be with him at Thanksgiving. And I mean, our parents mean so much to us and that's true, even if they're absent, you know, they mean so much to us and that restoration and that healing. You want to take everything you can do every opportunity to be as close as you possibly can, given those circumstances. And we overcame a lot and we're very close now. That is so wonderful to hear you have me in such tears. Like people you can't see, but I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm fighting back tears through your store. It's so wonderful. So when you were in college then, and you're resurrecting your relationship with your dad and you're playing soccer, is that when this happened, when you were in Zimbabwe, Right. So in college, you know, I played on some different teams or our college team went to Scotland as well. We won the Ivy league twice. We had a great coach. He's a Scottish legend. I keep in touch with all those guys. So we had an incredible time. And then I played soccer after, see overseas after college as well. And that's when I was in Zimbabwe and I took a prescribed medication. It was really, there was no warning. There would be any side effects. And so it completely blindsided me. And as I was there playing for many months, eventually the symptoms started to show up and the first couple symptoms were massive, migraine headaches, and I never had migraine headaches. I never really have headaches at all. And I couldn't look at light. I couldn't handle any noise. And it was like, what in the world is going on? And so that was one. And then I started to have crazy dreams where it just felt like I was not in my right mind. And then in addition to that, my heart would start beating 160 beats a minute while I was sitting still. So it felt like my system, and this is my mind, my body, it was just shutting down and no idea what the cause was. And I started to see doctors there in Africa, they weren't sure, but they could see my health condition was deteriorating. So they sent me back home. They said, you need to see American doctors get back home while you can. And so I flew back and we paid out of pocket, went to Stanford and the doc. There they're listed 10 things that it could be 10 possibilities. And when he read the medications, one of them, I just knew that was it. Because by that point there were additional symptoms. I had double vision sweats and chills. Uh, I started to have mood swings, panic attacks were starting to kick in depression. I mean, there was just craziness on every level. My body was completely out of control and I knew it was the drug at that point internally, sometimes. You know, beyond what other people know, because you listen to your own body and you're intuitive and you just know. So all the doctors told me to keep taking the drug for another month because that's, that's the course of the drug. And that would prevent me from getting malaria on top of whatever else I had. But I said, no, I won't. And I don't necessarily say that that's a path you should take, you know, to say no to the doctors frequently, but in this particular case that saved my life because I didn't take it for another month. We had my blood tested, said to center of disease control. They confirm toxic levels, dangerous levels. And I was fighting for my life for a year. And the heart condition included atrial flutter, another abnormality, heart murmur, skip beats constantly. There was no rhythm. To my heart and my heart was in pain during the day. During the night I moved back into my parents' house. They listened like on a baby monitor to see what kind of episodes I'd have each night. And I just didn't know if I was going to make it. And not only that, but fighting for my sanity because it just felt like, um, I was not in my right mind. And I just couldn't flip the switch. I couldn't get back into how things used to be. Life was different. Life was not going to be the same and there were no guarantees with my body recover. Would I live, would I, you know, regained my kind of emotional equilibrium, no guarantees. And I was just waiting for this drug to leave my system. So gradually half-life of a month, very long half-life and it was, it was brutal on many levels. It sounds it, I can't even imagine. Going through all of that. And I will say I. I myself have had heart issues. I don't talk about it very often. And, um, two and a half years ago, I had something called RVOT and so very familiar with irregular heartbeats and tech Yardi of the heart. And there, I mean, in my personal opinion, there's just nothing scarier because. Without your heart, we're not here. And so it is so scary and that in itself then brings on the anxiety and depression more because you don't feel in control of your body. So I am so sorry that you had to endure this. It was so incredibly awful. And yet looking back now, and it took 10 years to fully recover, which is a long time, but some of the greatest things in my life. Came out of that trial. And I believe it's in the valley that we grow. That's the transformation happens. That's the deep inward work happens. And I started to literally think had 10 things every day. I was thankful for write them down. If it's a hot shower, a great meal, you know, I saw someone today that I really enjoy just whatever I could put down 10 things every day, because that helps me. Gratitude helps all of us. Stay out of the ditch helps us stay out of over, focusing on what we don't have and it changes the inner culture in our lives. So that was one thing. I started to chart my progress because it felt like I wasn't improving. So to make a chart for the year where I could look back months later and say, now I can walk 15 minutes and it used to only be five. That without my heart racing, you know, that was progress. And I could see the progress. Here's a big one for me, in terms of coping, I always just tried harder exerted, more overcame, learn, grow, try harder, do better. So that worked in school that worked in sports that worked in many areas that was not going to work here and what I needed to do here with something different. And that's to grieve that's to mourn that's to let people in to some of my pain and disappointment, and that's even to pray differently. My prayers were more theological intellectual. No, this meant I need to pour out my heart to God. I need to give him my burdens because there are too many for me to carry. And, and those are huge changes that, you know, you don't just. It's not overnight. I'm still learning it some ways, but let people in, let God in. Don't do it all myself. This isn't just, um, you know, self-help four steps. I'll do it all better. And then life will be great. That's not how this was going to play out. This is 10 years. So those were massive changes. And I started even. For me reading the Bible. I was a new Christian, but I started reading the Bible and memorizing things and writing down certain phrases that were helpful. So I could focus on those things because you can't control the first thought. And sometimes my first thought was suicidal. Sometimes my first thought was discouragement. Sometimes my first thought was. You know, I don't know what I'm going to do and just fear, but the second thought you can choose what you want to focus on in the first thought you don't have to Harbor it, entertain it. You don't have to believe it. You can reject it. If it doesn't fit, if it's alive, it's something off base. And so that was like a new discipline for me is learning how to guard between my ears, the victory of the mind, and to choose intentional thoughts. So the ones that come in like darts to sabotage me, uh, no, I'm not going to be taken down. And in that space, right? There is so vital. What, what your folks going and believing your mindset? That's going to change? What happens internally is going to change everything else in your life externally. And so those were some of the growth points for me. And, uh, I, I, again, it was the deep work where I was not the same person. Like two years later, I was changed and on many levels as well. How could you not be, that's a lot to go through and on your own, were you having any therapy during that time? I mean, obviously you're probably having physical therapy, but were seeing a therapist and to help you through all of the anxiety and the depression and, and such. Right. I was grieving the loss of soccer, the loss of, you know, the health of my body. And then I didn't have friends around my identity shifted from all the achievement enlisted, who you are, is so much more important than what you do in my identity shifted. Instead, I dropped my anchor on what I feel like is not going to change what will never change. My career will change. My health will change. My friends can change, but God's with me in his love is here. And that became my identity. And I did, I went, uh, one thing, um, that I gained was just slow breathing because when your heart is beating that rapidly and there's nothing you can do. I mean, it just takes so much self-control to just take deep, slow breaths, slow breaths. And that was a new skill. So I did, you know, I got that help. I went to a pastor that I didn't know very well, and he, his name was Jeff and he became like a mentor confidant and I just poured it out. I mean, I didn't. Cry like that in front of other people. I just never did. And I felt safe. I could pour that out. And so yeah, different people at different points, this journey, part of that healing process. And I think that's one of the ways you experience. God's love it's through people that are loving and caring. And so I need to let some people in and choose people carefully as well, who you really led in to those carefully. I agree with you. It's always, during those most challenging times that you realize who is showing up for you and who isn't. And I also, I realized like you going through, the situation, it was who you were to let go of to a Latin, the moment that you do that. And it feels hard. There's another door that opens and there's someone else that comes through who is for you in that moment in time. Yes. You know, who brings out the best in you and you want to be around those people, you know, who inspires you? Who encourages you, you feel alive, you feel creative, you know, and now you're going to hopefully love everybody. You know, even the people that are the cruelest, do you still pray for them? You know, it's still showing a kindness, but be intentional. Who's in that inner group of three who's in that bigger group of 12, you know, those are not just. Trivial quick decisions. So those are the most important decisions in your life because the quality of your life is based on the quality of your relations, right? The sum of the five people around you, that's your life. You got to take a good look at that. And sometimes it needs a little tweaking here and there. Yeah, that's right. And I'm so grateful because if you really, initially, maybe I was receiving a lot, but those friendships as they develop, there's a giving and receiving and it just flows and it's natural and that's when it's the most rich. And so sometimes maybe you lean in as a listener, sometimes lean in, in terms of understanding, you know, lean in to how you can serve. But as you do that, It's going to become mutual and healthy relationships. So as you're going through this, and then, so 10 years of your recovery, were you with your parents that whole time? I mean, how was life during that for you? Because that's such a big deal to go from being a professional athlete. To not that in itself in a regular day to day is a huge mindset shift to have to make. So going through this with traumatic experience with your health, how did you do that? You know, I would say that healing is not linear, that there's going to be a lot of ups and downs. And sometimes it felt like, you know, I'm not taking that many steps forward. Like I would go, I tried to work at a job in three times. I had to stop the job. You know, strep throat, my body's worn down. I didn't know my own limits. And so here I am trying to extend reenter, take a step forward and I just get slammed. Um, what if it was possible to have local, fresh groceries delivered right to your door? Think of all the free time you'd have will Instacart gives unlimited grocery delivery for one low monthly. I forgot that special ingredient and your favorite dish Instacart can deliver it to your front door. And as fast as one hour, you can shop multiple stores, see deals in your area and save time and money. I've been using Instacart for over three years. I started using them in Arizona and I'm using them here in Florida. I love the time-saving convenience. They pick the freshest products and they keep my eggs. To receive your first delivery, free follow the link in the show notes. So that Instacart knows that we sent you and to help support the show. Instacart never stepped foot in a grocery store. Again. you heard it through the grapevine here, the story of dry farm wines, pure natural wines begin from a healthy farm and ends with a vibrant sip from biodiverse vineyards to antioxidant rich grapes, dry farm wines, pure natural wines express, a completely unique wine experience. Conveniently curated with wines of your choice on a schedule. That's right. I fell in love with dry farm wines. About three years ago, after I noticed I was having allergies, drinking wine when introduced to dry farm wines. What I loved about them is that they're organic and biodynamic they're vegan and lower in alcohol, sugar, friendly to keto and paleo. And free of toxic additives and low to no sulfates. You are drinking a healthy glass of wine. Not only that they have an incredible happiness promise. If you don't like a wine, for any reason, they will either replace the bottle or refund you in full whichever you prefer To receive your penny bottle of wine, follow the link in the show notes so that dry farm wine knows that we sent you and to help support the show, dry farm wines, pure natural, great wines from around the world delivered to your door. But when that happens, it didn't mean the story's over because the story wasn't over, it just meant my body wasn't ready for that much that soon. And so readjust the expectations in the hopes continue on. Right. But that can feel crushing. You know, it's more morning, it's more lost. I can't do what I want to do. And when you can't do what you want to do, it's so frustrating internally. And so there's a word I like that's abide. And if I can abide in, God's love it. God's presence. Then my house is going to be on the rock, not on the sand and we can keep going forward. And, you know, I went back to school for four years because like I said, I didn't believe God existed growing up. So I still, I did the sense that maybe because of this healing and. In this deep faith that was developing during this time and in the pain, it often pain can lead to passion. Pain can lead to purpose and that's starting to form, but it, it was shadowing. Some people asking some questions, you know, people giving some confirmation that I went back to school for four years because I thought physically, that's not going to be taxing on my body and I can start to learn more about God in his love. I can start to learn more. Because I didn't know where it was going. I didn't know who I could help, but I knew this. If I'm in my right mind, if I get my physical strength back, if I can help anyone, it's a gift. Every day is a gift. And I wanted to help people. I wanted to help people because when you've been through something that tests you to the core, if you've been through a time in your life was a lot of loss. Or a lot of disappointment if you've been through that, you know what that tastes like, you know, what that feels like. And you want to, a lot of times reach back and help people who are in that same situation. So I wanted to help people that maybe spiritually like myself just had a hundred questions. You know, I wanted to help people that their career ends and they don't know where to go. You know, I want to help people who have tasted what it's like, their parents being divorced. You know, I want to help people who have a job they love, but they lost it. You know, help people who are just battling to stay in their right mind. You know, I want to help those people because. I've been there. I'm not saying I've got it figured out. I know what works, but I can share my journey. I can share some things that helped me. And then hopefully that's going to make a difference for someone else who feeling alone or feeling hopeless. And I believe hope has no limits. That's both personally, globally, nationally, locally, and I want to live that way. I really do. And it's not just because, oh, that sounds like a nice way to live it's because I believe that. Deep in my heart for sure. And you have seven pillars of hope, and I'm wondering if you would be willing to share those with us certainly after the last few years and just everything that's going on, we all could use some hope right now. Yeah, I believe hope is not like we use it in our culture. Sometimes I hope means I think maybe I wish, you know, I believe there's another meaning for hope, which there is, it means this is a certain thing. Like here's a solid foundation. Some people think of hope as a feeling. It just comes and goes well. It's true. Sometimes we have more hope. Sometimes we have less hope, but it's far deeper than just a feeling. I really believe there's a foundation in hope is not just floating out there. It's linked. So some very important pieces in our lives, these pillars, these seven pillars. So the first one is your identity. And again, who you are is more important than what you do. The second one is your mindset. And the third one is your habits. Those habits that you start to develop are powerful, small, intentional, but transformative life-giving habits. And you choose those daily. And then also I believe that there's passion and there's purpose. And when you link passion and purpose and you connect those two, that's when you're going to come alive. And then there's the relationships that we have in our lives and the relationship decisions, and then your beliefs and those seven right there. And of course there's a lot of depth and layers to each one, but hope comes out of those. It's not just something that you try to manufacture stir stirrup, or can fake it comes out of the foundation of your life. And there's a direct link there too. Those are great. And what I mean, what great pillars to live by? Even if someone, if someone goes, oh my gosh, seven Jessie. Like, can I just have an old Blake Jesse, come on now. Were you not here last year, Jesse, but even if someone's like, okay, so you have seven, so there's seven days in the week. So no coincidence there. God give us seven. So how about you just take one a day to start and then build upon that. Because everyone is in a different place seven is great and go, okay. I can get there by the end of this month. I can do seven every day, but for right now, you could do one every day. And that is a huge step in the right direction. Exactly. Cause like you say, um, once you become familiar with them, then you know, you can just look at all seven in a day, but it takes time initially. And if you take one week, a transformation week, all right. One for each day of the week, but then it's something you can go back to your entire life. And with a lot of things like habits, there's really four stages to them. And if you think about any skill, like for me it was sports, right? How do I learn how to dive. Well, first I wasn't a goalkeeper, so I didn't know what I didn't know, you know, and then, right. And then I started to become aware of what I didn't know. I was like, oh, you need to know how to do that. And then I could do it, but I had to be very intentional. And then finally it just became natural in those four stages when it comes to hope, I believe those four. Exist as well. You know, first it's unconscious incompetence. You don't know what you don't know. Right. And then it's a conscious incompetence. Still don't know how to get there, but at least I'm gaining a sense. And then it's a very conscious competence where you're having to really focus one of the seven, what am I learning? Okay. How am I applying it? But then it just starts to become part of your lifestyle and, and then that's when it, it, you just start to see all the fruit of it. So it does a little progression there. But like anything. I mean the best things in life, they take that intentionality. They take that focus that prioritizing, and it's easy to be busy in our culture. It's easy to have a lot of voices in our culture, but to slow down to what's most important and identify that in an invest your time and energy there, it's going to bless all your relationships. Absolutely. I completely agree with you. And I'm wondering, so within your family, And you have a beautiful family. I saw you on Instagram today with everyone was in flight. You said you went from Washington or Washington, right? Washington state to Washington DC, which is very exciting. So how was that with you and your family and, throughout the family and the kids, do you work with the seven pillars of hope with them as well? Right. Our family, we have four kids and one of our children we adopted and just loved being together. So we just took that trip and I went to Washington DC as a sixth grader, and it was sweet to take my kids and just show him some of the different places. And it also, I officiated my sister's wedding on the trip too. So both sisters are married and just had a great time. And, uh, I. Coming back from that trip. It's like, I need to do more of this more family trips because family trips have so many memories. And of course, um, we all have looking back in our childhood those times where we got away, we did something special it's Disneyland or go somewhere meaningful. And so I want to do more, but, uh, yeah, for our kids, I would say, you know, each child is so different. And I don't want seven pillars to feel like it's cookie cutter, you know, like here's the checklist. And especially in younger ages too, I believe as you're, you know, parenting something, that's a stretch I'm learning so much, but I believe it's when you sit down, when you rise, when you get up some event you're focused, but then other times it's just in the flow. And so, you know, one of our kids said he wasn't feeling well. And it was like, all right, how do we talk through that kind of mindset? So it's not too defeating. And every day. There's opportunities. And I think the most important thing you can do, you know, as a parent is, um, to love your kids in a way that it's in the context of a close relationship. And that's something that won't happen naturally. And so, yeah. Honestly everyday for me, it's, it's thinking through, um, what adjustments do I need to make today? But yeah, I, you know, I, I believe our kids, um, have this foundation that I didn't have growing up and it's the foundation of God's love and his security there. In every little soul, I think just wants to know that they are loved by their creator and they have a relationship. They've all put their trust in Jesus. They, they really have that security. And then, you know, mom and dad loved them so much and they have great friends. And so, um, it's interesting. Their lives are so different than mine. Uh, I feel like I had a lot more adversity. But at the same time, I just want to provide for them and protect them. And they're going to learn there's enough adversity in this world. So, uh, but, but the adoption story in particular, I believe every adoption story is a healing story. And I, encourage people if they're open, uh, to check out just the difference they could make in terms of foster care, in terms of adoption, in terms of mentoring kids, I would love it if we didn't have a foster care system in America anymore, and I've just seen so much healing in our. And our child's life. And again, I believe the healing primarily comes through relationships where there's a lot of love. Oh. And I love you on your website, you describe your family being like Baskin and Robbins, 31 flavors of spirituality. I love that statement. I read that. And I'm seeing like all hearts and rainbows and thinking what a beautiful statement to make about your family. When you made that statement, where did that come from? Yeah. You know, I have this desire that in America we would have differences, but still get along, still respect each other. And when it comes to different religions, there are some things that are uncommon and we can celebrate that common ground. And then there are some things that are different and, and, you know, If we just don't agree, some people think there's no, God, some one, God, some millions of gods. Some say Jesus is still in the grave. Some say risen. Well, I believe he's risen. But if someone says still in the grave, I want to love them. I want to care for them and for my family with so many different views, that's something we've learned. Over the years. So in my sister's wedding, you know, in our family, we have, um, people are Jewish. We have a rabbi and it was meaningful for my sister to have a little glass. And then you crush the glass in the wedding and everyone says mazeltov, which means, congratulations. It's symbolic of overcoming. Difficulties. Yeah. So that was incorporated into the wedding. And, uh, w when I think about our family and spending time together, we can be honest. Um, we joke around this is an unusual humor, but, uh, you know, we laugh about our differences and, um, you know, if I'm, let's say I'm doing a wedding for. Some of my family who doesn't want me to share as much, you know, then I'll just joke around that. Yeah. And then I'm going to lead everyone to Jesus. I'll give an opportunity. Rudy, I'll give a long sermon. You know, we just, we find playful ways. It's kind of poked back and forth, but yeah, we really have a range, uh, in our family. There's people who are Catholic and more active ex Catholic. Like I say, there's people who are atheist agnostic and bottom line is we really love each other and we have some. Deep conversations and it stays civil. It, you know, we, we kind of know how to put limits on it, but we just laugh and we love each other and there's a wide range. And so, uh, I'm grateful for my family and it's a lot of fun being together. That's so important. And it's so refreshing to hear that you have such a wide variety going on in your family with different beliefs and. Everyone is still alive and getting along like really crazy. It's possible. I just love it. When people have different names, come together, people of different ethnicities come together. And I know with politics and religion, those are probably your politics and spirituality. Those two areas are so tense and families, and even politically there's quite a range in my family, but like we, we love being together and we can talk about those. And be kind to one another. Oh, that is so wonderful. I love that. So when looking back and it's, you're an amazing array of life and your journey and with your family and bringing adoption into your family. That's so wonderful. What one moment in your life are you most? Wow, that's a, it's a deep question. Uh, I would say. You know, the most meaningful times for me are relationships. And so when I think about, um, like my marriage, you know, I was single til I was 34. And just waiting for the right person and to meet Laurie. And then it was like, um, I just knew, like I just had this peace that I didn't have in any other relationship and to, to meet her now, of course. Um, before we got married, Premarital. I'm so grateful for, you know, Nevin and Janine that poured their lives into us and asked the hard questions. And it was a challenging engagement, but that really set us up that tested the foundation again. And when we got married, it just felt like a lot of that pain and waiting and being single and that longing right. Like that just all shrunk like a blip on the screen. It just shrunk. And I entered in to this relationship that is more important than any other human relationship I have. And so the marriage, um, you know, even though it was like, is this ever going to happen? Is what I felt like, is there someone out there, but I just, I didn't want to, um, lower the bar on some key stuff and. And I'm so grateful for Lori. And, and so, uh, we, you know, we've been married a while now and I'm so good for our relationship, but I look back at that day and have friends and family is massive, but 500 people, we must've been a little bit aspirational. I don't know. That's so hard to say no to people and to think who isn't coming, it was like, let's invite them to, so we had a huge celebration and that day in particular, I it'd be nice. There's certain days in life where if you could hit. Pause or slow the pace of it. Like I would just make that day a week because to spend time with everyone there. And I looked back at the pictures, it's like, that's, that's as good as it gets. You know, of course, if I was going to say one of the thing, it would be just the day I put my trust in Jesus and that's not an active, like earning thing, but receiving his love because truly. I tasted everything. It felt like the world offered that could be good. And I had this emptiness inside of me and when I just received didn't earn, but received his presence in love. It was like a living water that quenched that deepest thirst. And I have had a song of joy ever since then. And it happened back at, you know, Dartmouth college when I was looking at different religions and just trying to figure out what is this God stuff. But, um, those two days in particular stand out is. It's the most meaningful. And when did you become a pastor? Yeah, that didn't happen until much later after I finished grad school, I went back and studied theology. And then I stepped in as a college pastor at the university of Iowa. And again, it was one of those situations where I knew what it was like to show up on campus. And I looked at so many people there who may be either just curious spiritually or they wanted. A place to bounce off and process what they experienced growing up, or maybe some things they didn't like or hypocrisy they saw. There was some deep wounds. Sometimes our deepest wounds are spiritual when there's been just a harsh legalistic environment and to be able to be there for people. Cause again, I love to think about the inner story, my life. Was one of the outside look like success, but on the inside, there was pain and emptiness that people just didn't know about. And there were two stories. And so when my inner story, when there was healing, when there was wholeness, where there was live there's vitality, it was like, you can have this. And I just want to be there for people who are. Thinking about their inner story and like is contentment is peace, is joy overflowing, like is hope with no limits. Like, can that be there? Like it absolutely can. Uh, it, and so, um, you know, that, that came out of, um, that desire to be there for people and being a pastor, I get to, you know, not only counsel or teach, but also. Lot of leadership stuff, building the team. Hopefully people get to spread their wings and just, you know, thrive in our community. There's so many needs and, you know, being able to pray with people or for handing out food, it's just such a wide range every week that happens that it's, it's always exciting. Right? I literally wake up every day. Staff will tell you, and I'm excited about look, what we get to do today. And, and my Scottish soccer coach said, oh, it's a great day. You know, he would, he would put that in almost every day. And it just, it sticks with me in terms of what I get to do right now. Oh, that is so beautiful. And so blessed is your community and all those around the world, they get to hear your message of hope and inspiration from everything that you've been through. And to know that, so much as possible, and you're so wonderful to be so authentic and. Vulnerable and sharing all of that and letting people know we're not perfect. And I think in, so pointing, especially now, where we've come through in society that, you know, with social media being so perfect, we were laughing about we're on zoom right now when you said, oh my gosh, I love your background. I don't know if that's real or not. And I was very authentic. I was like, no, I'm manifesting this, you know, manifesting this living room. And that's important to know that what you see out there is not the reality of what's going on on the inside. And I think it's so important when you share your story and you share that message, let people know, like it's one, it's okay to actually you should feel peace and hope inside. You should want that. You know, we used to be, uh, society of you must hustle and you must feel pain. And you know, that is how you shall climb the mountain. And that's not actually the truth. The truth is quite the opposite, right? If everything's achievement based, ultimately it can lead to pride and it can lead to shame because then it's like, if it's all a compliment and you feel like you've accomplished everything, you know, and beyond then people get puffed up or you feel like you're a failure, you blew it. And then it leads to shame. And so that's a trap and ultimately it's so easy for all of us to either feel deflated. Like, I don't have much value. I don't have much hope, you know, no one really loves me. I'm not that special. I'm not wonderful. Well, I don't believe that. I believe everyone's wonderfully made everyone's important or you can get inflated and full of ourselves. And it's easy. Even, like you said, through social media, other things and wanting to present. Well, it's like, as an athlete, like I want to do well, want to bring my a game, want to play well, but you know, if the achievements come right. It would be easy to get full of ourselves. And that's a trap too. So how do we stay in the middle? And I think CS Lewis said, um, it's not that I think less of myself, it's that I think less about myself and meaning that it's not. To try to have this really unhealthy self-esteem, that's not the goal, but it's to be serving other people, be caring about other people. So we're not consumed with ourselves because ultimately we can't look inward and we're not gonna be able to produce that ultimate satisfaction ourselves. We're going to be able to play a part in that, but we're not the source ultimately, because I'm just not self-sufficient. I need people. I need God in, in, I need truth and I need love. And, and that's every day. Absolutely. We are meant to be a community. We are, and to be a team. And you know what that's like to be on a team where it's not about I it's about the we, and that's how we survive. We survive together. Yes. In that shift from me to weed, especially in the Western culture and even the Western part of America, it's easier to just, well, I'm just going to be me. You BU I'm just going to drift. I'm going to be all about me and, and, and we hear that we need self-love. We need love from other people we need love from God. We need love from a lot of places, but not self-consumption. Uh, I just want to love other people. Like I love myself. I want to that's my goal with it. In Seattle we have about a hundred churches and ministries now that have come together, uniting and caring for each other. If there's a need, if there's, if we have extra chairs, let's give them here, give some encouragement. What is it? How do we learn from each other? Like cohorts? And I just love that in our city, that there's a unity right now that wasn't there five or six years ago as strong and it's growing. And when that's the case, and that's true in any dimension where there's, where there's leaders who are coming together and care for each other, and it's authentic then, um, that sets a tone in a culture that is so positive. And I think we just. We need to be intentional about unity in our land and crossing over some barriers where there's sometimes weirdness or misunderstanding mistreatment. We need to come together. Just, it sounds simple, but love our brothers and sisters love our neighbors and do that. It means so much more than technology. It means so much more than, than. Uh, military resources or it means more than money. It means more than your resume, like loving one another. Well, let's make that a top goal. I agree. A hundred percent. It's such a beautiful statement. Can we just have unity? We started as we, the people, I think it would be nice if we could get back to the true essence of we and love thy neighbor. As I love myself. So I think that would be amazing if that could be our, our pillar of hope for 20, 21, if we could end on that, that would be amazing. Yeah, that's right. It feels like we're ripe or we need a movement. We need a movement and it's not a movement that it's like, Oh, it's just 10 celebrities or it's not a movement. It's just, here's the program. Here's the formula. It's a movement from the heart and changed hearts. It's a movement it's relationship. Yeah. And it's like, we need that movement then. And we're one nation under God. I think God's love has a lot to do with changing hearts. Cause it's not laws that's gonna, it's going to change hearts. It's I believe it's love it's. It's God's love that changes hearts. I couldn't say it any better myself. That was beautiful. I have such goosebumps. Yes. One nation under God. And that has, um, that has been missing quite a bit. And I'd like to see that come back. Yes. And it's one conversation at a time. It's one relationship with time. It's one friendship at a time. It's one meal at a time. You know what? I went to Africa, there was so much hospitality, generosity love. Like he just felt it in the culture. And I think if we open up our hearts and, and. I guess I was thinking, you know, someone let's say who's a different nationality or ethnicity than you. Like when's the last time you've had a meal together or had coffee together and just build that friendship start where you are, do what you can start now, don't start later. Right. And, uh, let's see just how far this can go. Absolutely. If nothing else, it's one smile at a time. How many people have you smiled at today? How many eyes have you looked into? It's it really starts so small. We go back to your seven pillars of hope. It's one step every day. One little change can make a huge impact in our world by the end of that seven days. Yeah. The personal connection. Cause during COVID we're so isolated, so much loneliness, stress, tension, and marriages. And yet, what do we need? We need that personal connection of Sarah in our hearts. Like you said, looking at each other's eyes and, and then, uh, I think praying together, what needs do you have serving each other? You know, it's all this stuff that comes together and relationships. I love it. Well, Jesse, we're getting to that time in the show where I ask this one question, are you ready? Here we go, Jesse, what is one thing that no one knows about you? Wow. That's a great question. Um, and then it's like, how deep do you go? Which level? Right. Where am I going to go with this? Exactly, exactly. Um, Right now I'm trying not to be consumed with my hamstring cause I tore my hamstring. I don't think anyone knows that. And there's all this bruising and I've, I've just never had to limp like the sun I'm in one of those slow heals right now, but I don't, but it's an injury that nobody really knows. So, um, that happened. But, uh, that's not the most interesting thing. Uh, I would say, um, one thing that nobody knows about me, you, you got me stuck to things that are popping into my mind that like. Not that interesting. Um, let's see. I, how about maybe some people know, but I am not a great singer or dancer. That's what I would say. Uh, and, and, you know, even at the wedding, it's like, Oh, there's all these great dancers. I am just not a good dancer. Maybe I need to take some lessons. Maybe I need to sign up. My wife would probably like that, uh, in, in singing too. I love to just sing. I have joy all the time, but my kids would be like, dad, can you turn that thing in down? You know, that's basically what they're saying. So I don't sing or dance often. When, when people can hear it or see it and maybe a little shy, but, uh, but yeah, that's something about me. That's maybe a little more hidden. Love it. Thank you for sharing with us and please share with us, where can our listeners go to find out more about you? Yeah, Jesse bradley.org. It's a great place to connect and all the social media options are there love to hear from people. There's also videos on their habits for hope, uh, pillars of hope, you know, roadmap for hope and people can sign up there. But, uh, yeah. Thank you so much for this conversation for everyone's spending time to listen today. And I would like to just continue to. Talk with anyone that wants to talk about anything that we covered today, I'd be honored if someone reached out wonderful. And Jesse, thank you so much for taking the time out of your day and being on our show. And again, being so vulnerable and authentic and bringing so much hope and inspiration. I thank you so very much. Jennifer. I appreciate your heart too. And thanks for including me today. Keep up the great work with the podcast. I know you are making a difference and you're just bringing strength and encouragement, empowering a lot of people. So thank you. Thank you, Jesse. That is the goal, as we say until next time. thank you so much for tuning into another episode. Please remember to rate, review and subscribe to empowered within with Jennifer Pilates. Your feedback is important. It helps me to connect with you and gives me insight into who you are and what you're enjoying about the show for today's show notes and discount codes from today's sponsors. Head over to Jennifer bylines. Dot com until next time, may you live an empowered life from within