Empowered Within with Jennifer Pilates

Finding Happiness in a Turbulent World with Monique Rhodes

June 08, 2022 Monique Rhodes Season 6 Episode 64
Empowered Within with Jennifer Pilates
Finding Happiness in a Turbulent World with Monique Rhodes
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Show Notes Transcript

Monique's  life and career have been built on audacity and courage. She turned her life around from being a suicidal 19 year old to living what can only be described as an extraordinary life. Monique has lived in the slums of India and the castles of Switzerland and hails from one of the most magical countries in the world, New Zealand. Monique teaches the path that she took to transform her life to over 100,000 students worldwide every year.  Her online programs are also used in over 70 colleges and universities worldwide. Her inspiration is pure happiness! Tune in to Find the Secrets to  Happiness in a Turbulent World with Monique Rhodes.

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This summer, I have curated a very special lineup of shows that include a never before heard excerpts from interviews, brand new episodes, as well as the top rated episodes by you. Our empowered within community. If you'd like to be in the know of all of our events, giveaways, and new episodes, head over to Jennifer pilates.com and hit subscribe. Thank you so much for being a part of our empowered within community and enjoy today's episode. Welcome to empowered within a soul glinting transformational podcast that will set your soul on fire through candid and inspiring conversations. Leading experts, celebrities, healers, and I share our journeys of how we've overcome challenges to living an empowered life from within I'm your host, Jennifer Pilates. Welcome to another episode of empowered within. Hello, everyone. I am both excited and honored to have with us today. Monique Rhodes, who is the happiness specialist, her life and career have been built on audacity and courage. She turned her life around from being a suicidal 19 year old to living. What can only be described as an extraordinary life. She teaches the path that she took to transform her life to over 100,000 students worldwide. Every year, her online programs are also used in over 70 college and universities. Worldwide. Monique has lived in the slums of India and the castles of Switzerland and hails from one of the most magical countries in the world. New Zealand. Welcome to the show, Monique. Hi Jennifer. It's great to be here. I am so ready to get happy. I'm with you. Let's do it. Let's do it. So let's start from the beginning. Who is Monique Rhodes and how did you become the happiness special? Ah, that's a great question. Well, I was born in New Zealand, very, very lucky to have been born in such a magical country with so many wonderful things. You probably know it from the Lord of the rings. I'm living right now, down in Lord of the rings country, which is great. I'm taking a little break from America while all of the COVID stuff kind of sorts itself out. But there's also, there's always a shadow side, you know, to everything that's amazing. And New Zealand has a shadow side of having a very high incidence of child abuse, unfortunately. And I'm one of the statistics of that. So I think that probably around the age of like 19 or so, I think, you know, um, I was really suffering from depression and I. Wasn't really able to manage the thoughts and the emotions that I was having. And I got myself into a incredibly dark place as often we do around that kind of age. And, um, I ended up in a hospital having taken an overdose. And when I came round, one of the things that I thought was okay, if, if I didn't manage to do this, then. Let me go the other way. Let me try and understand why it is that I'm suffering so much, that I'm so unhappy and see whether I can figure out why it appears that some people are just naturally so happy and other people really struggle. And can I turn this around? And it took me on a journey all over the world. I've traveled all over the world and being taught by some of the greatest teachers of our time and really worked with looking at. Was it possible to figure out how to shift this emotional state that I was in into one that was more vibrant and more happy. And I'm going to be honest and say the place that I've got myself to, I wasn't even aware. It even existed. So I have really gone beyond what I thought was possible, but I live a very consistently grounded and happy and a really amazing life. So that's what I now teach to help other people do the same. That is beautiful. I love this. So what do you feel the key to happiness is. Hmm, that's a great question. Well, I think that we live in a world that is consistently telling us that happiness can be found outside of ourselves. Phew. Find the right partner. You'll be happy if you buy this car. If you have this house, if you get this job or get this raise, and we have a tendency to look at happiness, almost like I call it as soon as happiness. As soon as I meet someone, I'm going to be happy as soon as I get that promotion at work, I'm going to be happy. And what happens is, is that for a moment, we are, those things show up, and we're really happy and we feel great. But after a short period of time, We get used to that thing. And then what happens is, is that we have to start chasing the next thing to get us to that place where we feel happy again. So we're on this consistent cycle of, you know, chasing, acquiring, and then chasing some more, then acquiring a little bit like the rat running around the wheel or the mouse running around the wheel. It never stops. And so I think the biggest thing, the secret that I discovered was that. Happiness is not dependent on external circumstances. Of course, it's important that we have enough food to eat and we've got shelter and we've got some money in the bank, but beyond a certain, a degree of that, everything is then dependent on something else. So. Let me give you an example. Like I wake up in the morning. So this morning I'm doing this podcast at 6:00 AM in the morning. I just want you to know I've got my morning voice. All right. No, I love you even more. You're so sweet. I had no idea. Exactly. I'm in New Zealand, so, all right. So we get up this morning and, you know, apart from all of the things that I do, I have big routine for setting up my morning, but one of the first things I do is I brush my teeth, right. And then I take a shower and I put on clean clothes and I make sure that my office area is really tidy because all of those things make me feel good. You know, they make me feel calm. They make me feel well. But if we think about it, you know, we don't, we don't live in our office and we don't live in our home. We, we don't actually even live in our close where we live is in our mind. And when was the last time that you cleaned out your mind? Instead, what we do is we fill our mind with so much information on a daily basis, 95% of it. That really is useless to us. Living a better life, making things work better for you. And what we don't understand is that rather than it being the external circumstances that create our happiness or suffering, it's actually what's going on in our mind. And if we can work with our mind, then we're able to. In control and in charge of our happiness. But instead what we do is we take care of all of the things outside of ourselves. And we're not aware that it's actually the mind that we need to take care of as well as everything else. And this is why we have. Stress anxiety and depression levels that are going through the roof even before COVID, because there's a whole economic system. That's dependent on us continuing to feel that we're not enough. So we continue to buy products. So our whole culture is set up this way. So it's really important for us to understand that if we can learn to work with our moms, That the mind is the ordering principle of our happiness and our suffering. Then we can start to turn our lives around such a great statement. So let me ask you this, because I know if I'm thinking those surely lots of our listeners are so Monique, how do I clean out my mom? Right. Okay. So the first thing is, is that you need to start to become aware of what you put into it. So you need to start to become aware of, if I sit on social media for an hour, how do I feel and what information am I putting in there? That's helping. If I look at the news, if I watch the news or read the news online, do my anxiety levels raise afterwards. And how much of that am I consuming? What other things am I consuming? When I walked down the street, there's billboards, there's advertising people wearing advertising on their clothes and to start to become aware of the bombardment. And then to start to make conscious choices about what is it that I'm prepared to take in. Maybe I need to start to decrease my time online. Maybe I need to decide to decrease my time on social media, the amount of time that I'm reading the news, maybe actually. A lot of those things altogether, or have days that are tech free or I don't engage with technology or, and see how I feel. And then after that, one of the most important things is to have a practice to work with your mind. And there is no more powerful practice than meditation. Meditation is the practice to start to calm your mind down because our minds are. It's almost like we've got these movies running in our minds nonstop. They, we completely out of control with. And so what we need to do is learn a technique to actually train and tame our mind because our minds are they're a little bit like a. It's almost like we wake up in the morning and this is wild pony outside the door of our mind and we get on it and it, and it kind of runs in all these different directions. And there's no bridal, there's no saddle. We just we're holding on for dear life. And then every, so often this pony stops for a moment, has a little bit of a food and then it gets spooked and off it goes again. And that's, that's what most of us live with. We live with a mind that is just racing around, going down all sorts of rabbit holes consistently. But if you can learn to work with your mind and tame it and comment and train it, it's much more. Like waking up in the morning is a beautiful, there's a beautiful champion, Western horse sitting outside and you get on it and there's a bridle and a saddle, and you're in charge of where it goes. You're in charge of it rather than it being in charge of you. And that is why meditation is so powerful because that's what it teaches. It teaches to calm that mind that is consistently. Talking to you in your head all day long, it helps you to learn to work with it. And for me, meditation became a superpower. It was the one technique that was the most powerful of everything that I teach. And how do you teach meditation? What does meditation mean to you? Great question. So sometimes we think that meditation is, listening to guided relaxation kind of tracks where we go off into a magical place and we feel safe and well, those are like, I call them more relaxation techniques, meditation, as I was taught, it is teaching you how to come back to the present moment. So right now, even as you're listening to me right now, your mind is consistently dancing off into two places that are not the present moment. You are dancing off into thoughts of the future. And you were dancing off into thoughts of the past, your mind is planning or imagining what's about to happen. And you're also remembering things that have happened. You might be thinking about what you're going to have for dinner tonight, or what's going to happen later today. And this is how I mind works. But the reality is when we think about, the past is over not only. Does it, does it not exist anymore, but we have a very, kind of slanted view of what actually happened. So on some level, the past is an imaginary thing where we have these yeah. These, memories that are based on what our mind process and what was important to us and the future has not arrived. So the future is just an imagining. And when we, we look at the stats around it, like 85% of the things that we worry about don't even happen. So we're consistently living in an imaginary future. That is also not real. And the only moment that's actually real is the present moment. This moment that you and I are in right now. And so what happens is, is that our mind also gets exhausted. By these thoughts of the past and this planning for the future, and then worrying about the future exists anxiety about the future as it often presents itself as, and if I can teach you how to be more in the present moment. Even for 10 minutes a day, if I can get a little bit of you for 10 minutes a day into the habit of practicing being in the present moment, then what happens is, is that when you go out into the world and you're having a conversation, you suddenly realize that you're actually listening, you're there, or you're writing an email, you realize, oh, I'm not off in a hundred other places while I'm trying to write this email. Because that is what exhausts the mind. The mind is exhausted by running off into all these other places. So I teach you to slowly but surely expand the amount of time that you're able to stay in the present moment. So that actually it creates an unbelievable belief for the, your mind, which is exhausted by all the places that it goes to. That is what I believe meditation is teaching you to be. Here. And the only moment that actually exists, which is right now. Yeah. I agree with you. I totally do. Meditation is so important now. How do you practice meditation? How is it that you've practiced over the year? Yeah. Well, I think the most important thing for me is consistency. If possible, to try and make it a daily practice. As you start, you will see. Your meditation is such a support to your day that when people do my program, the 10 minute mind, they often say to me, the days that I don't do what I really see a difference of myself. So the first thing I would say is consistency. And then it's finding a teacher. Ideally, I think it's really important when you're first learning, or even if you've practiced for a long time too, to have a technique, to find someone. Yeah. You relate to that. You like you like the sound of the voice really important. Uh, and we all respond to different people differently. And to find someone that has a program, ideally that has a daily practice and follow their program, the way that I teach it is, I teach you to look at your body and see where stress and anxiety is lying in your body. Most people. I'm not aware of what's going on in their body. And then in the next part of my daily practice, we work with the mind and we start. Work with managing your thoughts and emotions as they arise. And then the third thing that I do is I, as I teach you how to integrate your practice into your daily life. So we look at a quality in you and we reflect on that quality and we use that to reflect on for the rest of the day. So let's say for example, the theme of the day is patients to look. How patients arises in you and then for the rest of the day, every time something stresses you out patients is the thing that you'll focus on. And you start to recognize how you already hold these qualities. Because I think that we, we live in a world where sometimes meditation is seen as a way to learn, to focus more. And it is, but it's also a practice in getting to know yourself. And one of the most important things is that we're really in a world that is constantly telling us that we're not enough and giving us all sorts of messaging all the time about, you know, how we need to be more. And so the final part of my meditation practice is, is what I do myself every day as well. And it's really reminding us that already we're in there. And recognizing the goodness in ourselves and not separating the heart and mind and a meditation practice because the heart and mind and a true meditation practice are in union with each other. So it's not just about focus. It's about becoming a better and more loving person in the world. I agree with you. It's so important. And I do, I start my day every day with a 10 minute meditation. And it sets me up for a grounded day. Absolutely. And some game changer. It's a game changer. That's for me to prepare myself and like you're saying to get into my body, to my heart, my soul, and to ground to move forward. And like I was saying on some lucky days, then I have a mid day meditation that I do as well. Whereas I just release and allow my body to flow and let it go. I feel over the years. And I'm wondering if you agree with this. You know, society has really believed multitasking. How much can you do at one time? And I have found over the years that it actually is worse for you and can deteriorate your brain. Whereas I've really been focusing on, like you're saying, being present and doing one thing and then moving onto the next. And I feel I'm much more productive than when I'm trying to do four things at one time. Definitely. I mean the whole multitasking thing unfortunately, has been debunked. Uh, it doesn't work where we're led to believe that it does, but it doesn't. And what happens is, there's a statistic that says that every time that you move from one task to the next, it takes 15 minutes for your brain to settle into the new task. So think about that. Go from one thing to the next, not only. Is your brain like constantly like, whoa, I'm now I'm trying to do this. And I'm trying to do that. You can never do one thing thoroughly and well, and it also exhausts your brain because your brain is consistently trying to adjust to the next thing. So I'm with you, Jennifer, I'm a big proponent of you do one thing, you complete it, then you go onto the next thing. I agree. And hopefully there's a lot of our listeners out there right now who we just gave them permission to breathe and do one thing. Right. And do it great and be okay with it and be present in that moment. And it will, it's a game changer. So I want to hear about something in the past years. It seems, everyone has been obsessed with becoming Insta famous and Insta, like, and you have a great theory as to why wealth, fame, and power won't make you happy. And I love to share that with our listeners. Great. Okay. Why, why did they make you happy? Because, well, the problem is is that if wealth, fame, and power really did make you happy. Then all the people who were wealthy, famous and powerful would be happy. A couple of years ago, I went to Vegas, not a place I would usually go to, but I went for one reason. I wanted to go and, uh, see lady Gaga performed live and she was doing this, uh, kind of acoustic, big band, uh, show. Just incredible. Amazing. Can we think about someone like lady Gaga? She's really well. She's really powerful. She's really famous. And one of the things that struck me at her show was that she spoke about the level of, sadness and disconnection that was in her. And it was so painful to hear how lonely she was and how difficult life was for her. And it was such a great reminder. But all of those things that we're led to believe will make us happy. Actually, don't in fact, there was a documentary made some years ago by a couple of Australian guys and they decided to travel around the world and see if they could find the happiest community in the world. They found the happiest community in the world. Drum roll in a slum in Mumbai. And so this really raises the question again, of all of the things we're led to believe will make us happy. We think that if we're powerful, we'll have a level of comfort that we'll be able to get people to do what we want. We think that if we're wealthy, we'll have, you know, comforts that will make our life easier. But we look at the amount of people, celebrities. Wealthy people who end up, you know, taking their own lives or becoming drug addicts or alcoholics, or really, really suffering from mental illness problems, that are not genetic. Like there are things that have developed from lifestyle. And so I think that gives us a really clear indication that wealth and fame and money are not things that are going to make us happy. I would agree with you. I think it's health, your family, who you surround yourself with and what you can appreciate every day that truly brings that wealth and abundance to your life. Yeah, I think that we're very, um, I think that we live in an interesting society where we don't really look deeply at what wealth and success really are. I think that there's a real imbalance in the way that we are at this particular point in history as human beings, where we've mastered the external world on so many levels. And when I say mastered it, obviously we've got a massive problem with climate change. But I'm talking more about the ability to create things, uh, is just phenomenal. And the imbalance is that we have not mastered our internal world at all. And I think that's where the problem lies. I agree. 100% with you. It seems. I wouldn't say maybe the last 10 to 12 years, our society, our world has become very jaded with what we used to appreciate and what was important and what we looked up to versus what it has turned into, which is, you know, instead of looking up to like the Dalai Lama, which, I mean, I of course still look up to, but you know, people are looking up to celebrities and reality stars and sports people, things again, like you're saying things really have gotten out of balance. And I do feel like we're with everything that is going on worldwide, we are in this snow globe that is really being shook and hopefully things fall into a better alignment for all of us so that we can raise the vibration of our world. And. Become like the community and move by and, you know, really appreciate that the sun is shining today and how beautiful the grass is green because it rained last night. And those little things that I can remember appreciating as a child now, it's like, oh, you just take that for granted. Yeah. But it's really interesting that you say, ah, I feel this has changed in the last. 10 to 12 years, because I want to point out that the iPhone was invented in 2007. So I think that for most of us, we've seen a real shift since we have taken these devices into becoming an extension of our own bodies. Yeah. I think that the invention of the iPhone, even though the technology on so many levels is super helpful for us. And, you know, the internet creates such an ability for us to connect and do things like this podcast right now at the same time, our lack of mental and emotional maturity to be able to regulate ourselves. As well as big tech companies setting things up so that, you know, we don't have a chance of not being addicted to these things. Makes it really, really hard for us to have a healthy relationship with something that should be working for us instead of us working for it. I agree with you a hundred percent. I was just talking with someone the other day, and I said, you don't remember the days where you would go and do your work on your computer and then you would walk away. Well, it's like, I can still be, I can be driving down the street at a red light and be doing work on my phone and that's, that's not okay. And I recognize that the other day I'm like, remember when, like you would drive down the street and you stop at a red light and someone actually. You know what I mean? Like someone will like smile. I can remember, like years ago, guys would try to like hit on you at a red light.. People don't even know if you're in a car next to them in a red light nowadays it's wild. It's wild. Very, um, I have very strict, uh, boundaries around all of this. Not only with myself, but also with my staff. So my staff are not allowed. To, communicate or open emails unless there's something really urgent going on outside of their working hours, they're not allowed to engage with work at all. And it's the same for me, unless there's something urgent. I don't have email on my phone. So for me, work is. At my office at my computer. And if there's something really urgent going down, we have a series of kind of urgent ways to communicate. It very, really happens. It happens every so often, but it doesn't happen very often. And I I'm a real believer and that separation because the bleed of life into our personal life is so problematic. It's so problematic and it's so unhealthy. In fact, I'm. I'm working towards a four, four day working week. That's what I'm working towards. I want to have a four day working week for myself and my staff and the next couple of years, because I think that the amount of time that we put into work rather than living. Really really, really problematic. And you know, I'm a real believer of everyone's doing something and there's a result happening. You have to go in a different direction as you and I have kind of talked about. And what I'm seeing at the moment is. You know, the world health organization said pre COVID, that by 2030, depression was going to be the biggest health problem, worldwide surpassing obesity. And here we are with COVID ramping that up. So we have to look if this is going so wrong, we have the look as a culture, as a world, as a country, even. What is it that we're doing wrong? Because clearly we're doing something so problematic that the stress, anxiety and depression levels have skyrocketed since the 1980s, you know, in the 1980s, only 4% of people reported anxiety. And now we're, you know, we're up to about 80%, like people are suffering. So. Massively and we have to look what's changed. Well, we're on all day. We sit down to have a relaxing meal with people we love and people's phones are pinging and people are on their phones and it's anxiety creating to always feel as though you're on and you can't just switch off and be there again. This comes back to this idea of if I can't be in the present moment, because. Interrupting it all the time with things that they want or need or want to engage. Again, it works into that multi-tasking brain. How can I sit and have a beautiful night with my family? If members of my family had constantly being interrupted and being, and their attention is being taken away somewhere else. Problematic and it, and we suffer from it and we don't realize it because everyone does it. So we think it's okay. Right. You're you've really have my mind going right now. I wish I could have popped up the computer. I wanted to think back to the dates that you gave when certain social media platforms came about, should we say like Facebook and industry. Right. You know, if we go back to the day and, and of course there was my space. There's plenty of other things first, but those are the two predominant, obviously that are going on in our world right now and Twitter. And then I was thinking, okay, back at when's the last time you saw someone hold a camera. You don't right. They've made this phone so that even if you're traveling, you're going to use this phone because it's such an amazing camera in it. Well, your Texas are coming you're on vacation. Right. And everything is still coming through on there. And I remember times I've been out with family and I will put my phone on, I think it's airplane mode that I can still use the camera, but I can not get anything through coming through. There is no information coming through to be able to, to, like you're saying. No, and learn and teach yourself how to shut things down. I love that you don't have email on your phone now, do you have any social media on your phone? No. You see, I love that. And now how smart is social media? That there are certain platforms that the only way you can interact is if you're on it. For sure. I don't go there. It's like, so give me an example of a platform. Well, Instagram, the new clubhouse, yeah. I mean, you don't, I don't, I don't do it. I can't do it. I, you know, I have a consistent problem with my sister who is like, please put Snapchat on your phone. You're missing out on all the kids and what they're doing and the thought of having. Another thing coming at me is I, I just can't, I can't do it. Like I know that I get overwhelmed by these things. So I'm going to admit that I don't use Instagram. We use Instagram for me, for my business, but it all runs through, an online app. So I don't have Instagram on my phone. I don't have Facebook on my phone. I don't have email. I don't have Twitter. None of it because my mental health is, is more important than anything else. And that's, that's just the truth. I want to be happy. And I'm not saying that we need to reject technology all together at all. I use my phone for. Podcasts. I use my phone for when I'm driving the car for Spotify. I use my phone for GPS. I love it, but when I go away I'm like that. When I go away airplane mode, I'm really conscious about it and making conscious choices about. When you can get hold of me. And when you can't, because I don't want to be on call for you twenty four seven, and I have a system set up on my phone, which you can do on your phone, where I have a do not disturb. And it starts at seven o'clock at night. And it goes through till seven o'clock the next morning I get up at five every morning. So in those hours, no messages can come into me at all. So that I'm in control of it from seven o'clock at night. If you have not spoken to me during the day, you know, going to get me. And after seven o'clock in the morning, when I start work, my working day starts at 7:00 AM. Then you can get hold of me and I'm taking charge, I'm taking control of it. Why, why should the phone companies have control of my engagement? I think that's an, that's an excellent point. And, and to that, yeah. It just does it. It does it without me even being aware of it. I love that. I love the concept. I think I'm going to change it. Honestly. You've inspired me. I'm going to take my email off my phone. The social media. My goal personally, I have everything running through my community on my website, which means so much to me to have everybody there on a more personal aspect anyways. You've given some incredible tips and I to mention something I read just shifting a little bit, cause I find this so intriguing about you. I read that one time you were living. Out of a bag traveling the world for 13 years. And for almost four years, you were even riding a motorcycle through India alone. Today's podcast is sponsored by JP active athleisure wear Pilates and yoga inspired apparel that combined style and versatile. JP collections take you from the studio to the street, looking and feeling your greatest with sizes ranging from zero to 24. There is something for every beautiful shape and size discount promo codes will be available in today's show notes. What was your biggest aha moment during that adventure? And what started that adventure for you? Uh, it's a great question. I started the adventure because I burnt myself out. I had done a big project, a big philanthropic that charity project in New Zealand. I created an album, with some of the best non. In New Zealand, in music, I did a big charity, album, that went platinum. It was amazing raising funds for, helping with child abuse here in New Zealand. And it was incredible. And I ended up, just being burnt out. So I decided that I was going to disappear. So I went to India. And, I was always curious about India and I decided that I was going to go, I was only planning to go for a short period of time, but I fell in love with India and on it went for four years and I go back to India regularly just before COVID, I'd just been back to India as well. So I love it. The biggest aha moment that I had, I bought a Royal infield motorcycle and, put all my gear on the back of the bike and rode all around India. I was right in the most Southern. Yeah. Part of India all the way up to the most Northern part of India, right up in the Himalayas. And fact that if you go to my website, the 10 minute mind.com, you'll find a photo of me, where it might even be on Monica, rose.com of me at the top of the highest motorable road in the world, it was amazing. And it was incredible. What was the biggest thing that I learned? Well, I did lots of lots and lots of stuff over there. I had an amazing time, but it was a mixture of lots of connection. And twice I went into closed retreat where I was up in the Himalayas and a room by myself for two weeks in a room by myself with nothing, no distraction, nothing. Someone would come to my door and put food outside of my door. And it was a time for me to deeply practice working with my mind and what I discovered all through that trip all through that time was literally wherever I go. There I am. That was the truth. And it didn't matter where I went, the things that were still. Wonderful about me would come and the things that were problematic inmate would come and they would show up. Endlessly, no matter what, the best parts of me and the parts of me that I needed to work on. And it gave me a deep motivation to continue to work with my mind and work with the bits and pieces that I needed and continue to, to, to work with. And it made me see that there was no ability to get away from yourself. So the most important thing that you could do is really work with yourself. How challenging was that to be alone in a room. So you did this two separate times for two weeks? Yes. It's interesting. Uh, of course it was challenging. There's no question about it. I'm not going to pretend it's not, but I've been studying meditation for 20 years. So I knew what I was doing. I was prepared for it it was challenging on some levels because you get to a point where yeah. All right, I'm ready. I'm ready to go. And of course, things come up in yourself. You think of things that you've not thought about for years and you know, and that kind of thing. So thoughts come up, emotions come up. But I think the most incredible thing about it was the slowing down each time. And I think that the first time I did it, the most profound experience was that I would get to a point a few days and yeah. And the relief and my whole being, but I had nowhere to go and nothing to do was extraordinary. There was no one that was going to message me. There was no work that I had to have achieved. I just had to be there and I got to be there for two weeks with no one asking anything. Of me and me not asking anything of myself except to be in the experience. It's almost like, as I tell you this, my hand goes to my solar plexus because I feel like there was a deep relief in my whole being that I'd never experienced in my life. And I think that we, we live in a world particularly now. Where maybe when I was a kid, you know, we would go on school holidays and it felt really fun. It was really fun because you got a break, but your parents still wanted you to do things. And there was still obligations, but it felt a little bit like that, but like 10 times that, and I don't think. You know, we really get, really give up permission for that. I have a client of mine, who's a CEO of a company and she's just a powerhouse. And one of the things that I'm getting her to work on at the moment is once a month to take a day a Sunday, she does it on where she doesn't plan anything. And it's so challenging for her. And also. Profoundly powerful for her to do, to take a day. I'm going to take a day. And I do that with myself very regularly. You know, like this Sunday is coming up soon. I've got nothing planned. I'm just going to take the Sunday. I might wake up and I might read a book all day. Am I go out walking? I might take my bike out and ride. I might go skiing where I'm Wednesday here at the moment, but I have no plans. And I, and I don't think we allow ourselves that we think that we have to keep going and be on and to a point where it's so addictive, we don't know how not to be doing that. And actually all we're really doing is running from ourselves. Right. I know over the years it's become this thing of, and I caught myself the other day of going through what I had done that day. Well, I was productive today. I did dah, dah, dah. But it's not about being productive. It's about living and enjoying your day and yes, getting done what you need to get done, but you don't have to be productive every moment to be fulfilled and you don't have to be productive every moment to be enough, because I think that's the fear. If I don't, if I'm not busy, if I'm not working hard, I'm not going to be enough. And I think the fear of not being enough is a massive driver. Not being enough, not having enough is a massive driver in our world. I have to seem busy because people will think I'm lazy. I can't take the day off. What do you mean? You're telling me to take the day off and have nothing planned. Because we're caught in a cycle of production and it's, and the cycle of production is, is powerful for businesses and companies to keep us consuming and keep us working for them. You know, hopefully my team love working for me because it's not something that, that I want them to be doing. And I also understand that I'm going to get the best results out of my team. If they're rested and they're living and they take holidays and they have a life and that's the reality, right. That happiness will spread and bubble over in. And then you have a beautiful integrated work. Or integrated life, excuse me, of work and life, because there is no balancing. There is no balancing, there is an integration that can transpire and it can be beautiful and it does take work. But it can be done. And there was, Did you see research lately? There was a country that did this. They implemented the four day work week and they said, it was nothing but positive reviews for it. How wonderful it's always been an I've always had in my mind, my goal has always been to work Tuesday, Wednesday. And then half of Monday, half a Monday and half a Friday. So Monday afternoon and Friday morning. So then it's almost like you have a three day, you feel like you have three days off? No, I have, I will be honest. I have yet to fully accomplish that, but every week I try harder and harder to get there. Yeah, there's a lot being written about it. It's actually a company in New Zealand. That's done it and I've done an awful lot of research around it and they've found it to be really powerful. Like the staff are happier, the suffer more. Well, the staff are, more productive. They're doing the amount of work that they were doing in five days and four days. And it's a win-win and I'm kind of at the stage at the moment. Yeah. Managing to get one Friday off a month. I'm aiming for that at the moment. And I just love it. I really, really, really love it. And I'm yeah, I'm just at the moment. All my scheduling is that Fridays are free if possible, and I've got no meetings or anything. So if I have the ability to take it off, I will. And I'm yeah, I'm in the beginning stages of moving towards. Oh, I love this. I can't wait to hear how this works for you. I think this is a great new direction that you and I are really trying to head in and, and maybe we'll be the pioneers of this for everyone to give people permission. Like you're saying you are enough and it's about being in your flow and what feels good. I had a discussion with a business tycoon yesterday and he was all about the hustle. And I said, yes, I was there 20 years ago. I hustled, I know better. I align in my flow and he melted, he melted down. We we're in the clubhouse, stage together because here I am saying this in front of all these entrepreneurs and he lost his mind and was like, will you eat that? Can't possibly be true. And I said, I actually do better financially now than I ever did when I was hustling 20 years ago. Yeah, and it was like, I dropped a bomb, you know what I'm saying? It, but when, when you can get to that place and understand that you just go with the flow and you are guided and, and what is meant to be will happen. It's beautiful when you can get there. And not every moment is that, but it sure is a beautiful work in progress. Yes. I agree with you. There are many things people need to balance in their lives in order to maintain happiness and emotional health, you need to look after your romantic, spiritual, and physical needs to keep them in balance. When feeling down, seeing an intuitive advisor could be the optimal way to get back on track and intuitive reading session could be the tool you need. The ambient noise in your life and focus on things that truly matter. Growing, finding clarity, and empowering your life. Head over to Jennifer pilates.com to claim your special, intuitive email reading again. That's Jennifer pilates.com. So I have one other question for you, actually, I have a couple you once worked with and you performed for the Dalai Lama. Yes. How did that experience change your life? I think that, one of the things that we don't really realize is that every so often there's a human being in the world that exudes. An energy that is so powerful that whether you, believe in their philosophy or not, you cannot help, but be moved by being in their presence. And the Dalai Lama is one of those people being in his presence is justice. So incredible. I I've, yeah. It's like, you can feel him when you're a long way away from him in the same way as when you're really close with him. And so I think that it's incredible. It's incredible for us to, have people that we look up to. And I remember when I was a kid, there were people that I looked up to and often think now, What is it like for young people? Like how is it that they look up to? And there's a kind of thing where they're, you know, looking up to Instagram stars who would just pimping products, that's all they're doing. They're not, not doing anything magical. They just pimping you products. They work for corporations. And I think to remember. That is so powerful to have people that we look up to that we want to aspire to me more, like, I think it's, it's really vital and there's nothing, more wonderful, the meeting those people, and we might meet them in real life if you're, you know, have that grateful. Yeah. But you also might meet these people through books and podcasts and their teachings or whatever it is. But I think it's important for us to have people who are more evolved than we are that we aspire to so that we can learn and we can grow. And so being around him is very special for me because, he is so inspiring to me. Really how to work with your mind and how to be happier and, and, there as, a mentor as to where it is that, you know, I'm continually working to go towards. And I think it's important for all of us have people like that. I agree with you. What an incredible experience I've always, always resonated with the Dalai Lama and like you, India is on my bucket list. Like, oh, I have such a pooling in my heart for India to get there. And I can only hope one day to have even a little bit of the wonderful, amazing experiences that you've had there. India is amazing. You can't help, but have amazing experiences when you yeah. Oh, there is maybe a surely in another life I have lived in India. I've just always had this incredible pool to go. So I look forward to one day and we, I will say our podcast, one of the first countries outside of the U S that started listening to us was India. We have a great, a great, wonderful audience in India. So, hello to all of them. Yeah. Yeah. So maybe, maybe one day the podcast will be live from India. I love that. I know be amazing. So we're getting to that time in the show money. When I asked that one question, are you ready? I am, can't wait to hear what it is. What is one thing that no one knows about Monique Rhodes? Ah, that's a hard one that no one. Knows it well, there's one thing that people don't know that I kind of opened up to with my students just a couple of weeks ago, because I was trying to demonstrate something to them about courage. So I think courage is really important, to give us the freedom that we're, after that we have to break through it And I was telling them that when I was a kid, I was actually really quite shy. And the inside of me, there's, there's a shyness. There's a part of me that. Yeah, it doesn't necessarily want to go out and engage in the world and the way that, uh, sometimes people would like me to. And so I have to work with my shyness. So again, it's about shifting things into it, into a habit to overcome with courage, whatever it is that's holding you back. And I'm not saying. Shyness is a bad thing. I think that with the kind of things that I've done with my life being shy became a little bit problematic. So I had to learn how to build that confidence in myself. So I was able to do, you know, All the things that I've done in my life and, at the same time, be able to do the work that I do now. So I think, yeah, being a little bit shy as one of the things, most people aren't aware. Never, no, We have that in common. No one knows that I'm actually very, very shy and no ever if I ever say that to someone, they don't believe me, but it's, I resonate with you very much on that level. Excellent. Yeah. It's it's, you know? Yeah. It's sometimes you'll put me in a social situation where I just am painfully shy and everyone around. Like, it's almost like that will be the day I can't overcome it. And everyone around me will be in shock. There'll be like, what is wrong? What is wrong? And they don't realize that it's probably more my natural state and that I just work hard to, uh, consistently, no, just to consistently come out of the clamshell. That's what we're always working on. I'm with you. I'm empathic. So a lot of times I just sit back and I take the room in and I'm watching and people will think either I'm a snuff. Or like, you're saying, there'll be like, well, what's wrong with you? Is something wrong? Yeah. And I'm like, nothing. I'm just, I'm I'm trying to ground. There's a lot of energy here. I'm just trying to like have a moment. Yeah. I'm with you, yo. Oh, this has been such an honor. Thank you so much for your time. You're so generous. Please let our listeners know where can they connect and find out more about. Absolutely. Thank you, Jennifer, for having me. It's so, so wonderful to be on this podcast. And you're such beautiful questions that you've asked as well. So the best way to get in touch and find out is just to come to my website, Monique Rhodes, R H O D. They'll come and check it out. There's lots of things there. There's juicy staff sign up to my newsletter, come and listen to my daily podcast. Try out one of my programs, that number of them you can do for free. And yeah, just thought to engage a few. If you feel so inclined, I would love to get to know you I really focus on having a personal relationship with my students as much as possible, even though I have lots of them, there are just so many of them that I know really, really well. So if you come into my world, I try to do everything to make it possible for you to have a relationship with me. And, that's a wonderful part of it. So please come, you can ask me questions. I'll podcast about it. Whatever it is you like, I'd love to see you there. Um, that's wonderful. Thank you again, Monique, for being on the show for sharing your incredible journey and your happiness insights. I for 1:00 AM much happier now than I was earlier today. I love that. Thank you, Jennifer. You're so welcome. Well, as we say until next time, thank you so much for tuning into another episode. Please remember to rate, review and subscribe to empowered within with Jennifer Pilates. Your feedback is important. It helps me to connect with you and gives me insight into who you are and what you're enjoying about the show for today's show notes and discount codes from today's spot. Head over to Jennifer dot com until next time, may you live an empowered life from within.